We're having a heatwave in October. No surprise there, it happens nearly every year. It doesn't feel like fall weather but it is kind of fun to enjoy hayrides and pick out pumpkins then put on bathing suits and hit the beach. That's what we did last year for Halloween.





When the temperature hit triple digits this week, I had to combine my Halloween decorations with frozen treats. Richard helped me make stars and skulls out of frozen lemonade.

I had a little Torani strawberry syrup (great for chasing down yukky medicine or mixing with seltzer or iced tea)...



...and some disposable pipettes (thanks to my science lab friends) and I dripped bright red flavoring into each skull.

The result was delicious!

Bill loves Halloween. Before we had kids he had the time to get really creative and build cool homemade special effects. Since having babies we've scaled back- a pumpkin carving party, a few office events and community festivals that ended before dark. Two years ago we had a chance to visit a really entertaining scary walk through the forest out on a rural farm in Virginia. It's more nostalgic for me to have the smell of bonfires and fall leaves on cold country air. I really loved introducing our boys to October in Virginia.

This is the first year that our boys can stay up late enough to go trick or treating. Costumes are one of their favorite things year round and we keep a big bin of assorted costumes and masks for them to play with every day. We were excited about adding to our costume collection and started shopping early. I found several discount items and accessories but Bill thought we could do even better. He measured to find their sizes then searched to see what he liked from the available costumes online. Next he committed Rookie Parenting Mistake #1: he printed up sheets with images so the boys could select one they liked. Sounds simple enough, nice way to involve the kids in the Halloween preparations... until you remember that preschoolers can't make up their minds for more than 0.2 milliseconds. EVERY conversation was dominated by talk about which character they wanted to be and the tears and demands started as soon as we told them we didn't actually HAVE all those costumes for them to try on.

(As an added bonus, we told them the costumes were coming in the mail so now they accost the poor Mailman every day and shout anytime they see a mail truck or Post Office. They don't need wrapping paper to get excited since all good things come in Amazon boxes with smiley faces.)

This led to Rookie Parenting Mistake #2: telling them on October 1 that Halloween was coming. Wow. Just.... wow. Suddenly every 15 minutes was the holiday varation on "Are we there yet?!" as we were bombarded with declarations of "It's Halloween NOW! Time to trick or treat! Let's get our new costumes!!"

If you've ever tried to change the subject with Richard you know how persistent he can be; even when he falls asleep, he will wake up chattering on about the exact same topic that was on his mind when he dozed off. Now it's 24/7 "It's Halloween NOW... it IS later... today is Halloween 'cause it's October!" I had to fix this one in a hurry. I went to the store and grabbed a Halloween themed mat, a big calendar from the school supplies and a few ribbons and buttons from the holiday scraps. I adore Dollar stores for this kind of stuff- it may lack quality construction but they were open late and I got everything I needed for less than $4.



I sewed pumpkin buttons on the corners of the mat and tied on some purple spider ribbon so I could hang it on the wall or on their easel. Then I taped the calendar numbers all over and recycled a Trick or Treat bag from last year into a grab bag of spider rings and tiny candy treats. Before they went to sleep on October 1 I was able to display the calendar full of cards for each day in the month. Together they can remove one card and get a grab bag treat. They read or count how many days are left. I'm counting on this visual display to explain we still have a lot of days left until Halloween!

Thanks Grandmama, for the great multi-purpose easel! They can still paint and write on it since the calendar is easily moved. So far they are only drawing Jack O'Lanterns every day- Richard has a one track mind!

Bill came up with a brilliant way to keep the boys entertained in the car yet restrained their natural tendency towards inventing violent* games: he plays "Five Jeep" with them. Five Jeep is his modern answer to Punch Buggy. The rules are similar- you call out as soon as you see a Jeep, but instead of slugging your loved ones, you just politely request a high five. No punching and Jeeps are easy to spot anytime you're driving. Genius! I think the game will take off among families everywhere. Just tell them you heard of it here first.




* The last original game invented by Vincent involves chasing your brother, whacking him in the stomach and yelling "Shaddap!" each time you catch him. We think it originated after bedtime when they acted out a scene from Peter Pan, remembering Peter Pan trying to recapture his shadow. Despite outlawing "Shaddap" from our house, I catch them playing it outside when they're supposed to be playing tag.

This month has been very busy with happy occasions. We've had a wonderful rush of activity starting with Vincent's fourth birthday on Saturday, July 2 then a fantastic Fourth of July celebration with Brian's family. Next came summer fun with pool parties, lots of outdoor play and all the scrapes and bruises that little boys accumulate when they run and climb and ride scooters.

We planned a lovely celebration dinner for my mother's birthday this week. Her sister, my Aunt Shammy, flew in from Honolulu and both of her brothers joined us for a dinner party on Friday, July 15th. Aunt Shammy and her husband were able to time their visit to arrive in San Diego before they traveled to UCLA Medical Center for some doctor's appointments with specialists. My mom was looking forward to girl time with her sister and the opportunity to help guide her through learning to live with an oxygen requirement and chronic lung disease. Unfortunately Aunt Shammy had an acute problem when she arrived and ended up in the hospital this weekend. As of today we're waiting to hear if she needs major surgery that will be especially delicate with her history of health problems. It was scary and disappointing that she couldn't join the family reunion last night. We made the best out of a difficult day and I left my mom laughing it up with her 2 brothers after a fantastic banquet with balloons and some great food!

My mom's birthday is July 14 and a good friend of mine had her baby girl on the same day. This mom is a friend from Vancouver who went to Disneyland with me over a year and a half ago. Her son is close in age to Richard and she understands the frustrations of high risk pregnancy. I was so happy her baby arrived safely but now she's going through a frightening journey of seeing her baby admitted to NICU and all that stress while trying to recover from a C-section. My heart goes out to her since I've been through similar worries and there are no words to comfort a mommy who has to go through that fear, especially with a toddler at home.

I'm lovingly sending up prayers for comfort and healing for Aunt Shammy and Baby Lucy. While we're enjoying summer adventures, I'm humbled by the reminders of how lucky I am to have my sweet little boys. All the fears and memories of pain and hospitals fade into the past when I can soak up the sun listening to the laughter of my happy kids. I hope my aunt and friend are recuperating and get encouraging news soon. Patience has never been easy for me and surviving health challenges requires a lot of patience.

I pray for peace and patience and good outcomes. Family and friends are so important to me. Hopefully our next update will be more of the happy stuff.

I think I need to stop watching or reading the news for a while. I hate to be uninformed but the headlines seem to get worse every day. War. Crime. Death. Selfishness. Corruption. Enemies. I stopped watching live TV when we got rid of cable and turned to internet and print news. It wasn't enough, I still found the blazing headlines in electronic media calling my attention to endless tales of death and destruction. It's breaking my heart. I suppose having kids has made me a big softie, which is strange since years of working in Emergency Medicine gave me such a tough attitude that nothing could shock me.

I do appreciate when I hear good stories. On Memorial Day my beloved Aunt Jane called to tell me she enjoyed a news story she saw all the way in North Carolina about a boy from my city. The news story told how an 8 year old boy was at the Oceanside Pier and noticed the American flag was tattered. We've had an unusually harsh winter with windy storms and I'm not surprised the flag suffered damage. I've also visited that pier a lot recently and wished that the whole area was in better condition. The young boy wrote a letter (kids still know what snail mail IS these days??) to the Mayor of Oceanside and asked him politely to replace the flag. The Mayor happily replaced it and the news outlets picked up a feel good story about a fresh faced boy supporting his community while wearing the uniform of the Eagle Young Marines.

Aunt Jane was also able to pass along good news about the McCreery family that she knows in Garner. Their 17 year old son, Scotty McCreery, has enjoyed huge success since winning American Idol this year. I doubt anyone around here had ever heard of Garner, North Carolina until Scotty made it into the Top 10 Finalists for American Idol. It's a big challenge for a small town teenager to face Hollywood and the music industry and even more difficult for him to do it as a professing Christian. I wish the kid well and hope that he is not jaded or defeated by the same bad news that I find disheartening sometimes. It's a big, scary world out there and I want to be more confident that young boys and girls can find a safe, fulfilling future. Aunt Jane's endless cheery tales from small town America helped me this week.

Richard has picked up a habit of hollering "We're off... to the FUTURE!" as he runs out of the house at top speed. Beginning when Vincent was a newborn I would whisper "We're off on an adventure" into his stroller. I got that notion from a set of newborn hats that had a classic Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin announcing they were having an adventure. Every activity as a parent with a new baby became thrilling and potentially dangerous! I suppose I called every outing an adventure to help cover up my terror and inexperience. It's become natural for both of my boys to consider any trip outside the house an adventure.

When I was searching for something to read at my father's funeral I kept coming back to the same Bible verse and I've repeated it daily since then:

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable

I've been waiting for that first ER or Urgent Care trip due to boyhood trauma. It's like getting the first scratch or dent in a new car: I figure I need to get it over with so I can stop worrying about how bad it might be and get on with enjoying the ride!

So far my boys have never needed medical attention for any injuries. We had our first scare this week but everyone is okay. On Valentine's Day I took the boys to a new park, one that has very tall slides and complicated monkey bars. This park has a sign with long list of detailed instructions, to reduce the city's liability in case of accident. Vincent even dragged me by the hand over to read the sign and we had a brief talk about why we obey the rules on the playground. (I was especially happy that the sign included validation of my "Up the stairs, DOWN the slide" rule since most other parents seem to have abandoned enforcing it and collisions are common.)

Vincent is consumed with the idea that he can climb the monkey bars like the bigger kids do and it's a source of endless frustration when he fails. I tell him "You must be tall enough to get yourself up there to play, I will not lift you up" and I thought he couldn't get into too much trouble. He's always been more cautious than his brother and doesn't seem to like heights. Hah! That didn't keep him from jumping up off of a platform to grab onto the monkey bars for one glorious moment of hanging suspended... then he lost his grip. He fell over 5 feet straight down, face first, landing open-mouthed on the wood chips. I ran closer, wondering if anything was broken. Oh, the waves of emotion that ran across his face in those first seconds: elation at catching the overhead bars on his first jump, then shock as he lost his grip and fell, then fear and pain as he realized that he had mouthful of sharp bits of wood! I scooped him up before the screams and sobs began, checking him all over as I brushed off the dirt and splinters. The only obvious injury was a fat upper lip and a few scratches on his forehead. I carried him over to our lunch table where I fished out some ice from his drink and cleaned up the minor bleeding around his mouth. Eventually he quieted down and had enough energy to complain loudly when I told him it was time to leave.

"One more time up the stairs and down the slide, Mom?"

After I had him buckled into his car seat I realized some of the wood splinters were still embedded in his lip and some slight bleeding was now coming from his nose. There was a rapidly spreading bruise across the middle of his face so I tried to look closer but that set off a new tantrum and that made the bleeding worse. I called the Pediatrician and they agreed to check him out between patients so we drove straight to the office.

I love our Pediatrician. My boys get so excited about visiting the office that they don't want to leave. They call the building the "Doctor's house" and ask to go visit. There's a castle in the well-kids waiting room (I don't remember what decor is on the sick-kid side since we've only been there once.) They don't really get a treat when they're done, I usually forget to collect their sticker on the way out so the attraction is not all the bribes. It's just the staff that make them happy.

The doctor quickly examined Vincent from head to toe and carefully checked his nose and mouth. There were no wood splinters stuck anywhere harmful, nothing we couldn't have treated at home. But the doctor's assistance was calming to all of us so I'm glad we went. Richard knew his brother was upset about bonking his face and Vincent clearly told us his nose was the source of his owies.



When the doctor touched Vincent's nose and shined a light all around Richard protested loudly, even though his brother was in no distress, shouting "Hey, stop doing that! Don't hurt that!"

The doctor and I got a good laugh out of bossy baby brother's behavior!

I consider this a practice run for our first real emergency. I went through a horrible rush of panic as I ran to Vincent laying on the playground after his big fall, my mind racing through all the common playground injuries. No amount of medical training helps you contain your fear when it's your own child possibly broken in a heap in front of you. I'm definitely DONE being an adrenaline junkie!

Now my job is playground monitor and bossy-child-manager. And as Vincent said, running down a hill at top speed the other day, "I LOVE MY JOB!"

Let me tell you about how a little perspective keeps me in balance. Bill was shocked to hear of the death of his friend and coworker, Caetano, this Friday. We knew Caetano was undergoing treatment for an aggressive cancer and he had been unable to work for months, despite going to great lengths to keep working from home during his surgeries and chemo. It's always hardest to imagine scary things happening to someone so young (he was about my age), someone that you can relate to so easily. Bill saw him 2 weeks earlier when the bad news had come in that there was evidence of new tumors but no one had really absorbed the idea that this was fatal. As we went through our routine cycle of heading into the office, paying bills and plodding through our daily lives BOOM- everything changed for a family of 2 year old quadruplets, a lively 6 year old boy and a hardworking wife who keeps that family going with very little help.

Caetano was the warmest person in Bill

I love the resilience of little kids. Their joyful attitudes and desire to help shine through even in tough times. I need to see things from their perspective at times, to keep my sanity and appreciate life a little more. The kids have been sick more this year with tummy ailments and colds. It

My sister made this concoction for our Labor Day BBQ and whoa! It became an instant hit, my kids DEMANDED more at every meal for the next week!

She posted the recipe on Facebook so I'm sure she won't mind me re-posting it here.

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 3/4 tsp cinnamon
• 3/4 tsp cloves
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 3 eggs
• 2 1/4 cups sugar
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 3 cups peeled, chopped apples

• 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1/2 cup butter (I'll cut this to 1/4 cup next time)
• pinch of cinnamon
• pinch of cloves
• powdered sugar if desired

• 3 ounces cream cheese softened
• 1/4 cup butter, softened
• 1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/8 teaspoon salt

"Hacks" are simple tricks that make life easier and I

Woke up to the usual chatter of my lovely boys in their bedroom. One is in the crib, one is rolling around on the floor. Richard is making monkey noises, his specialty. He's jumping up and down in his crib in his best imitation of a monkey. Vincent is encouraging him by carefully pretending to dole out "monkey chow" and bananas. I open the door to all the hooting and hollering where a very serious zookeeper tells me, "Monkeys LOVE bananas!"

Richard responds with a chant of "Bananananananas!"

I suppose I should be more careful when I refer to them as "my little monkeys" especially after the 1 zillion recitations of 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.

(but nobody said anything about jumping on the couch!)

Tonight Vincent was being particularly whiny about wanting this or that. Bill was trying to keep him from pestering me. Finally Vincent settled on asking to go to the park- asking over and over until Daddy said, "In the morning when Mommy gets you up you can ask her nicely, 'May I please go to the park?' and she will take you."

(I actually had other plans but immediately starting thinking about which park we could visit along the way.)

Vincent perked up in his seat and leaned forward to get my attention.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Vincent?"

"Mommy, you look GREAT!""

And he sat back in his chair with a satisfied grin.



I'm sure he'll ask me to go to the park in the morning. I'm not sure I'll look "great" at 7am. My little boy is growing up fast- he's already figured women out.

UPDATE: As expected he woke up and greeted me with "Mommy, you look great!" then he upped the ante by asking"Let's go to the store and buy TOYS!"

I tried not to gripe about how much financial stress I felt during our complicated pregnancies and difficult deliveries of both of our sons. I thought it was worth any amount, even an appalling six figure medical bill, to bring home healthy babies. And those babies sure are cute!

I tried to embrace the positives, like the fact that we even had insurance, especially when the job market was so tough. When my husband was suddenly laid off and I was unable to work due to pregnancy complications, we were able to maintain continuous coverage thanks to the fact that my husband's employer helped us keep our health insurance at a reasonable cost. I'm not sure if our sob story about trying desperately to hold onto to a threatened pregnancy helped or if they would have done the same for any other of their thousands of employees, but I appreciated the assistance and concern. There ARE compassionate people out there who want to see a happy ending to every sob story.

I was on a first name basis with staff in the HR office when I called them every month to have them re-send forms to the insurance carrier who inevitably canceled our coverage due to misunderstanding my husband's employment status. This mistake happened EVERY MONTH for nearly the entire pregnancy. I'm still drowning in bills and rejected claims thanks to that paperwork fiasco. It takes a lot of time and patience to repeatedly face these challenges, and I'm not known for having much of either.

When the recovery from my last C-section got complicated, we just rolled with the punches. Bill had a new employer, we switched to a new health insurance and either everything was fine and dandy or I was too distracted with two kids under two years old to care. We still get occasional medical bills that are confusing and need straightening out but it

Things you must know about my youngest son:

• He looks smaller than he should for his age. He will use this youthful appearance to get away with anything. ANYTHING.
  
  
• He enjoys throwing away things. This is helpful when there are wrappers laying around, not helpful when you need to find your phone.
  
  
• He's learning about potties. Keep the lid closed and he's less likely to flush random objects.
  
  
• He has perfected his baby ninja moves, especially going limp as a protest against the evils of grown up commands.
  
  
• He has not perfected the trust fall and if you say "Time to change your diaper" he will promptly fall backwards onto the floor even if you are nowhere near him and it's a hard wooden surface.
  
  
• He is 15 months old and I dressed him in 3-6 month pants today. Pants that fit. I doubt that babies are concerned about their waistlines and requesting vanity sizes.

While I'm laying on my bed early in the morning, delaying getting up because it's a glorious weekend and Daddy is tending to the children, I hear the familiar thump-thump-thump of little footsteps.

"Hi Mommy." says the face peeking over the edge of my bed.

"Good Morning, Vincent. How are you?"

"I'm very cute!"









He sure is cute.

I knew I shouldn't let him start breakfast with the sweetest food. I gave him a bite of my cinnamon raisin bagel anyway, caving to his chants of "Wanna hava DOnut! Peeeaz??"

"It's not a donut, but it has the same shape. It's a bagel."

"Ba-del peeeeaz?"

Well, at least Vincent grabbed a banana on his way to the table and sweetly asked me to "hep eat banana.". My carefully prepared low fat sausage and cheese omelet was going to be ignored in favor of carb-laden foods. I let him pick his favorites this morning since we generally have no battles over food which is great considering he's only two years old. And he did pop bites of omelet into his mouth during his one-sided discussion of something unintelligible. This kid is surprisingly chatty after he got past his quiet spell when I was pregnant. I'm constantly amazed by his thought processes, when I can decipher them in his stream of consciousness toddler babble.

"Baby feeping."

I looked over and the baby was passed out, bottle hanging out of his mouth, tipped back in his high chair so I could see his toes twitching as he dreamed. I didn't even notice when the hollering stopped; we had already endured a solid 20 minutes of a miserable teething baby cries while Richard sat in the high chair rejecting every possible chew toy. Vincent had even tried to help, finding his favorite sippy cup of water and putting it in the baby's lap. He's interacting with his baby brother much more recently. Last night he walked over to the high chair and asked for "Taste baby food?" He often wants a sample of the mush du jour, but this time he took the spoon and gleefully jammed it into his brother's mouth. "Baby eat baby food!" he announced as he headed over to the fruit bowl, removed an avocado and pretended to take a bite out of it."Mmm, av-o-ta-do! Wow."

Vincent is growing into a very helpful big brother. Compared to the usual tug of war over toys it was nice to see happy children smiling at the breakfast table. Vincent kept himself and his brother entertained while I cooked and cleaned. He knew that the baby was safely contained in the high chair so he retrieved a few not-safe-for-baby toys and piled them on the table. When his super bounce ball rolled away he made a big production going after it shouting "Finda puple ball!" His pants kept slipping down and he had to hold them up with one hand. He stopped long enough to make silly faces at his brother, rewarded by giggles every time.

I make sure to sit down and eat with Vincent in the morning. I stopped myself from pouring a glass of juice and filled a small pitcher with cool, purified water instead. Then I served breakfast with great enthusiasm, trying to encourage Vincent that staying seated at the table was a good idea compared to rummaging through the toys in the living room. I want to get rid of cups with lids for him so he drank his water out of a tiny plastic shot glass, carefully holding it in two hands. Modeling the behavior I hope to see in my child means I need to drink water instead of juice and sit at the table, not run around with my mouth full as I multi-task. When the water inevitably spilled Vincent said "Oh no water. Wipe peeaz?" and I handed him a wash rag to clean up his spill.

And I tried to ignore it when he munched on something he found in his booster seat. At least he ate a good portion of omelet.

Vincent fell down the stairs last night, doing a complete somersault at the top and landing nicely on his knees at the bottom. He's fine and so is the beach ball he was chasing. I think Daddy and I were more freaked out than he was since he barely blinked before jumping up to play some more. I'm pretty sure he babbled on about "Do it AH-GIN... fall down- BOOM!" Disaster (and an ER visit) avoided.

The striking thing about this tumble is that it's not the first time- he fell down half the stairs before, tugging on the cat's tail as poor Dino tried to escape. That time I lunged after Vincent, snagging his leg before he hit his head but I tumbled all the way down. This was extra bad because I was 32 weeks pregnant, fully anticoagulated on heparin so my blood wouldn't clot and at a huge risk of bleeding. Also my ligaments were nice and relaxed in preparation for childbirth but that allowed my hip joints and legs to go in directions that they were never intended to move! I landed at the bottom of the stairs doing the splits with my baby belly wedged up against the wall.

After my tumble I reluctantly checked myself into the hospital for "fall down go BOOM" syndrome. I hoped to keep the incident between myself and my OB but no such luck- he called ahead and alerted the staff that I'd be showing up and I had lots of complications including the bleeding risk. Even the Security guards were on the lookout for me, I was met in the front of the Emergency Room with a dramatic rush of staff hauling equipment and a stretcher when I really just wanted a wheelchair ride up to Labor & Delivery. I'm still recovering from that tumble down the stairs even though it happened almost 9 months ago. My pelvic bones separated and displaced my hip enough that walking was impossible for a long time. Some nerves got pinched and lots of muscles are still sore. I went back to the hospital 8 weeks after delivering Richard and had a pain specialist/radiologist inject medication into my joints and muscles. The injections were supposed to reduce the inflammation enough that I could start Physical Therapy and get on my feet for the first time in months. The injections HURT and their good effects wore off quickly, if I had it to do over I'd skip the procedure.

I'm very nervous about the stairs ever since my big fall. We lured the cat into a better bed so he won't sleep haphazardly on the sunny steps. We have baby gates at the top and bottom.

Of course, even my Pediatrician reminded me that kids have to learn how to get up and down stairs sometime in their lives so why not teach them to do it early, with supervision. Vincent learned as soon as we moved. He was 9 months old, scrambling up the stairs quickly and slowly crawling down backwards. Richard is catching on now, he's an expert climber at 7 months old. But when will I learn to safely go up and down??

Oh well, at least it's not an escalator. I have a mortal fear of those: my numb leg with the nerve damage makes me feel unsteady as I ride, I feel like I'm falling forward despite staring at my foot firmly planted on the step. I think it's the striped metal and shiny sides that totally mess with my head. I actually have to give myself a pep talk and announce "Step OFF!" when I get to the end to tell my extremities when to take over walking again. I'm a bundle of fun at the mall or airports.

So we're stuck in a two story house and the stairs have tried to kill us a couple of times. I'm sure I can find a class to teach my children to do their own stunts around here. Vincent is off to a good start with his perfect dismount down 10 steps last night. And the steps are a wonderful counting opportunity, we all chant "1... 2... 3..." as we go up and down. I guess it's not as horrifying as I thought.

But I'm still investigating putting gym mats along the bottom landing, just in case.

When a co-worker prompted me for our thoughts on vaccinations, Teri wrote this very lengthy treatise regarding our thoughts and research on how we vaccinated our kids. I realize that this can sometimes be a highly controversial subject and everyone makes their own choices; as usual, your mileage may vary. But there's weeks' worth of research here and written so nicely and concisely that I felt it important to preserve. It may even be helpful to others if the search engines pick it up. I know there are many out there who do not advocate vaccinations; this is our opinion after much research and soul-searching, and I am NOT inviting that debate. Enjoy!

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Yep, vaccinations are a hot topic and one sure to cause disagreements between parents, so I tread lightly with a lot of "this is what I chose" and the reasoning rather than advising anyone else what to do. Same with circumcision, but at least that coworker is having a girl so no need to get into THAT debate!

Our opinions are based on the idea that we need to protect very young children from communicable diseases but we also need to protect their very new immune systems (don't mindlessly give them twice as many shots as we received in our childhood) and promote the healthiest balance as they develop. Handwashing is as important as shots for good health, let 'em eat a little dirt but use common sense. More and more parents choose not to vaccinate. Some pediatricians and day care providers dictate strict vaccine schedules before school age. New vaccines are available every couple of years. It's a lot of information to filter through. For viewpoints from both sides, we checked out these books from the library and used the CDC website.

• Vaccines: What Every Parent Should Know by Paul Offit (pro-vaccine)
• What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vacinations by Stephanie Cave (more anti-vaccine)
• CDC info (pro-vaccine but also a source for research references & technical details)

Teri wrote this "novel" to me when I asked her if she had any suggestions for a co-worker of mine of our favorite baby stuff to register for gifts at the baby shower. This info, in my opinion, is so useful I wanted to post it as a blog so that it would be preserved, so that I could refer other friends to it, and so that the search engines pick it up and it could be shared across a broader base. Your mileage may very. Enjoy!

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I'm going to assume he is a total noob when it comes to baby shopping & registries. I'm willing to bet his wife has more experience, if only from buying baby shower gifts.

Most of my friends are boycotting Target baby registries because their new return policy SUCKS- it's too strict. It is fun to wander around Babies R Us, you did it after the baby was born, even dads can find cool stuff and mess with it. Babies don't need nearly as much crap as we buy for them but some stuff is high priority:

You must have a car seat to bring your kid home from the hospital. :) Shirts, diapers, wipes will be provided in the hospital, after that you're on your own. You'll get some kind of hat for their smushy heads at the delivery, I didn't spend much on other hats for our summer baby, he moved into ball caps & sun hats pretty quickly. They make stroller "frames" that will clip on to most car seats so you don't have to buy a travel system (matching stroller/car seat). We get good use out of a cheap umbrella stroller once the baby is 6 months old anyway.

You can't have too many burp cloths or receiving blankets. Or bibs. Hope he likes drool. If you use a changing station at home, get extra covers for the changing pad. These waterproof pads are really useful too. Cover your car upholstery under the baby seat. Just cover everything- it's gonna be messy!

Layettes: Snap up onesies are easier to remove when poopy than the over-the-head style, Carters calls them "speedy exit creepers." I like the PJs that are a night shirt for quick diaper changes. There is a Carter's Outlet in Carlsbad that has AWESOME stuff and great coupon deals; their website suggests what clothes you need for a new baby. I especially liked the side snap shirts since they don't irritate the umbilical cord stump in that first couple of weeks. We're using sleep sacks since Richard never liked swaddling but many moms LOVE the Miracle Blanket or knockoffs. We have a nice new medium size yellow fleece Kiddopotamus one.

Baby bath tubs - many people can live without one, you just put a folded towel in the sink or the bottom of the tub & set the baby on it. I liked this bathing "pad" because it hangs in the shower & drains well, other bath tubs were hard for me to store. A soft cover for the tub spout so it doesn't bonk or burn the baby is good. Lots of absorbent baby towels & little washcloths are useful- all the slippers, robe & cutesy additions never got used by me & appliques scratch, I prefer plain towels. And I LOVE Burt's Bees Baby Bee wash & lotion.

Get a large enough diaper bag, I like having adjustable straps & clips to hold it on a cart or stroller. A folding changing pad & small wipes container is good for changes on the go. Those sacks for diaper disposal are great for the road. Triple Paste is our favorite diaper rash cream. Pampers Swaddlers are my favorite diapers, they're always on sale somewhere. You can exchange unopened packs of diapers for a different size or brand, often grocery stores will exchange them even if you don't have a receipt or didn't buy them yourself (like if you get them as a gift). A nice kit with nail clippers, comb & brush, snot sucker and basic thermometer is good- tiny emery boards are great if you're nervous about clipping newborn nails.

Entertain the kid: I just want one of these turtles for myself. Musical light up crib toys were more entertaining than mobiles for our kids. Links will attach all sorts of toys so they don't get tossed on the floor. Floor mats are awesome for tummy time (the opposite of "back to sleep" time). Then you can dangle toys over the floor mat, I guess they call it a "gym" and this was an awesome adjustable toy for us. We have a folding bouncy seat kind of like this one but it's dark blue with a toy bar, great for travel since it folds up. And we needed a very compact place to park the baby once he was sitting up, the Bumbo (with tray) or this bouncer/jumperoo work great.

Organizing all your kid stuff is a hassle. We got good use from the car organizers and diaper organizers. Bottle steam cleaning setups & dishwasher baskets are good too.

Gotta feed the kid & get her to sleep- this stuff is personal preference so it's stuff you end up shopping for on your own. A Babies R Us gift card is perfect for shopping for this stuff.

Nursing you might need a Boppy pillow or other support cushion (I kid you not, one is named "My Breast Friend"). Ask the lactation consultant if they have one in their office to try it out before you buy one. I swear by Motherlove products & their Nipple Cream works for mom AND baby- it's safe for chapped skin on both, lanolin free so you don't smell like sheep! Hospital grade breast pumps work SO much better than portable ones, theyr'e pricey to rent, insurance might cover it. The hospital supplies the tubing & a starter kit if you try pumping, then later you can go buy your own stuff. Bottles are switching to "safer" plastics that are "BPA Free" so they're cloudy looking & usually have silicone nipples. Glass bottles are back in vogue, with silicone covers to protect them from breakage. You shouldn't microwave breastmilk or some plastics so a bottle warmer can be useful (we're using ours again a lot now). Our reflux boys did best with the Dr. Brown's bottles that reduce gas but they are a pain to wash. Favorite pacifier in our house: Soothie brand. Awesome travel products: Take and Toss. High chair is not going to be used for a long time, I might go straight to the booster seat + tray if we don't have room for it.

Baby will need to sleep somewhere, if you have enough blankets anything becomes a bed. Sleep positioners didn't really work for us, we used the bouncy seat more than the triangular pillows. I'd wait until the baby comes home and figure it out based on what works. Pack N Play is great for travel & I liked the bassinet for our newborn.

Taking me out for some special dinners was FANTASTIC before our baby was born!

We're making small changes to our family web page and the photo organization is vexing me. When we were a family of three I would happily post monthly collections of Vincent photos. My world kind of revolved around him and I posted pictures constantly. Those monthly albums aren't as practical now that we are a family of four because:

• there are not enough hours in the day to upload pictures at the rate I did when I had one child who napped a lot.


• it's not useful to group photos by month after a certain age, I mean I don't see my family looking for milestone photos now that I am 458 months old


• I don't want Richard to feel shortchanged if there aren't as many portraits of him as there are of his brother so the new emphasis is on dates rather than children.

We've been through a couple of the less-charming stages of parenthood lately. I swear someone handed Vincent a manual on The Terrible Twos right around his birthday, he's demonstrated every naughty toddler cliche overnight! And not wanting to be overshadowed by his brother, Richard has gone all Jeckyll and Hyde on us, morphing from sweet baby bundle to moaning, inconsolable ball of misery every 6-8 hours around the clock. I'm convinced he's teething, his big brother got his first two teeth at exactly this age. So there are daily ups and downs since someone seems to always be crying... and about 70% of the time, it's one of the children.

Yesterday I listened to a voice mail from Bill on speakerphone while Vincent anxiously listened in to hear his daddy's voice The message started "Hi Sweetie..." so Vincent continued greeting me with "Hi Feetie!" for the rest of the day. How can you stay grumpy with anything after that?? He does this counting of "One, two, free, fev-en, eight, nine, TEN!" then falls down. When we were in Kathleen's back yard he gleefully counted and plopped down on his back then muttered to himself about the moon, the airplanes, birds, anything he could spot in the sky. Seeing him laid out in the thick grass gazing up at the sky was the epitome of summer time bliss.

Richard is on the go every moment he is awake. He speeds around in his walker like it's a race car. Watch your toes! He doesn't last long confined to the jumper or high chair. I fear our nursing days are coming to an end since he has no patience for being snuggled up under my shirt, he'd rather snack on a bottle while facing the world. Solid foods are more interesting and he's gaining weight well. He manages to sleep through the night even with his teething pain. There are parents who still have to get up nightly and it's very rare for us so I'm grateful, we have good sleepers.

One child is crawling and trying to stand (often at the same time) and the other is mastering climbing new structures like ladders and bookshelves. This morning I was exhausted from busy days of trips to the park, the zoo, the kid's water sprinklers and kicking the ball for hours on end. I just wanted a break, some down time so we could all physically recuperate. And both kids slept in nearly 2 hours longer than usual! We all got to sleep in late, everyone has smiles and it's a calm family day. That's my definition of bliss.

We resorted to TV watching with Vincent while I was on pregnancy bedrest and recovering from my surgical complications. I had some lofty goal of waiting until he was much older to turn on the boob tube but reality kicked in and we let him watch a few TV shows starting months ago. He just wasn't interested in cooking shows anymore and there is practically nothing else that is safe to have on TV when little ears are listening. I had to enter the bizarre and confusing world of toddler shows and identify the kid-friendly channels on our cable guide.

Vincent and I enjoy Blue's Clues (the Steve episodes only, please) and The Wiggles. There is a strong bias towards male leads in these shows, although the Wiggles are incorporating more dancers, tutus and fairies in recent episodes. I'm happy there are realistic male preschool characters out there. Vincent also prefers Ernie and Big Bird to any other non-human actors. I'm lucky that Elmo is NOT his favorite; I can fast forward through those parts and avoid ear damage from that voice. We agree that the old school Sesame Street clips (Grover, Kermit the Frog, musical letters and dancing numbers) are the best. This week Sesame Street was "brought to you by the number 17" so we're now counting up to 20 and Vincent has quickly learned the new numbers.

So far TV has been educational. Vincent can recite and identify his alphabet (except G and Q are confusing), numbers up to 10, most colors and simple shapes including ovals, rectangles and hearts. Polygons are next! (WHY do shape sorters challenge me to figure out if that's an octagon or a hexagon that you push into the elephant's stomach??) And he knows the names of all the characters in Finding Nemo, although I'm not sure it's accurate to teach him that turtles say "Duuude", crabs say "Hey, HEY!" and seagulls say "Mine!"


It's tricky to teach positive messages with commercial TV. So far the only feature length movies that work for us are Finding Nemo, Kung Fu Panda and Ice Age. Vincent may find his baby brother slobbery and disruptive but when the baby on Ice Age is upset or in need, he is extremely sensitive and anxious to make sure the baby is happy. I'm seeing him play with his brother more after a couple of viewings of "Ice Movie" and I think he learned peek-a-boo from an animated saber tooth tiger. He shares his Nemo toys with his brother and his stuffed Dory is a constant companion for stressful trips like the pediatrician.

I hoped to avoid brand name everything in our household but it's tough. Vincent has Cars and Thomas the Train themed stuff even though he has only watched a little of the shows. It's hard to find shoes and hats that don't have licensed characters. Last time I took Vincent to the shoe department, he wanted the sparkly Hello Kitty shoes because hey, they're reflective and have a "tiddy tat!" Many of his character items are hand me downs too. There is an unexpected benefit to some things he owns- his light up Cars sandals make him more visible at dusk and his very red hat makes him easy to pick out* on the playground.

There are plenty of times I feel like I'm battling against a tide of toddler marketing. My kid can get obsessed with a hand held fan so it doesn't take a lot to buy his affections. If I'm surrounded with TV and toys, there are still ways to control their influence. It's not all bad- we strive to practice moderation in all things. There's TV in our home but there are trips outside to the zoo, aquariums, parks and beaches each week. Vincent is OK with turning the TV off, he walks away from any scenes that are uncomfortable for him (like arguing animated characters) and he engages in lots of pretend play with his stuffed animals. I'm satisfied if there's a little Nemo fanatic in my house- we have 2 clown fish living here anyway.


*A simple tip I heard has worked well for me: to see him better in a crowd, dress your child in bright colors. Two other tips I haven't had to use yet are take a cell phone photo or write your cell phone number on your child's arm if there is a chance you may get separated and need to enlist help in finding them, like at the beach or zoo. The monkey leash companion has helped us stay together so far but he's getting bolder and has already mistakenly grabbed the wrong hand to hold walking through a store. Where's the line between prevention & paranoia?

There is nothing that makes me say "Awww" faster than baby toes. Most days I just want to kiss my sons' feet, even the feet that no longer fit any reasonable toddler shoes. I tickled and kissed my toddler's plump toes as he rolled around on his bed when I came to get him this morning. A ray of sunshine shone on his fat foot. It highlighted the tiny white scars on his heels. Scars from the slices of an infant lancet, a necessary evil in the NICU for testing his blood each day when his thin veins wouldn't bleed enough. There seem to be too many scars for such a short NICU stay. I've seen preemies who had so many heelsticks done that they walked on their toes years later because the scar tissue was uncomfortable. I remember how swollen and bruised my son's heels looked for weeks after he came home from the hospital. I know Vincent walks on his toes when he is tired, a coincidence probably, yet I worry that I caused him this extra pain. I had the rotten uterus that refused to carry him long enough, it must be MY fault, you see?

Then I remember the IV sites, especially the one on his head. They shaved a tiny spot of hair, the site didn't last long and it left a white bump that was still there months later. I remember the day they did an arterial stick in the crook of his arm, after chasing us away from his bedside to do

Our son Richard Logan Smith was born at 9:42am on December 18 at 36 weeks weighing 6lbs 5oz, 18.5 inches long. APGARs of 9 & 9, better than anyone expected for a slightly premature baby!





We had another baby boy a mere 1 year, 5 months and 16 days after the first one.






There is so much I wanted to document about having our second child... but then reality hit. The reality is that I have trouble reconciling my pain and fragile emotions with the joy and blessing of having a child. I couldn't write about the great feelings of expectant joy because they were overshadowed by the negative emotions, the physical pain and the anxiety over how it would all turn out. I worried that karma would bite me in the behind if I chatted about how hard it is to be a mom, how many tears I cried, how many depressing things happened. We have these two wonderful little boys home with us now and that is a huge success story. I suppose the positive things speak for themselves, it's the negative ones I try to hide. I think that's why I've been silent on this blog for so long.

It's not very Christian to think you can control all the bad things in life or that you get punished for bad thoughts, I'm supposed to be full of hope and praise. This is my struggle, I want to control everything and I get upset when that doesn't happen. Having children will teach you about letting go of control. Last weekend we watched Kung Fu Panda which is a must-see on our movie rotation. (Yes, Bill and I had an entire weekend to ourselves while Grandma Smith watched the kids and we stayed home to watch kids movies. By choice. And we both really enjoyed it.) In the movie there is an exchange between the wise old master explaining life to the indignant younger master, how control is an illusion and there are no accidents. I chuckled at the parallels in my own life, how I demand control when everything around me happens in it's own time, on it's own path. I only succeed at making myself crazy.

When we were 10 weeks pregnant I started bleeding badly and I sat down sobbing, certain that it was a direct result of telling everyone that we were pregnant the day before. I've lost so many babies I couldn't believe that we would both survive this pregnancy. The physical complications added up making this pregnancy more perilous than the last one, especially because I hadn't fully healed from the difficulties with Vincent's surgical delivery. I went through strict bedrest, endless contractions, hundreds of injections (we added new and more painful shots this time), frequent emergency visits to the hospital, weekly appointments with my high risk OB specialist and the fears about another major surgery to deliver this baby safely. The first big milestone was to get to a viable gestational age, hopefully 24 weeks, then 26 weeks, then over 30 weeks and 3lbs when the statistics favored actually bringing home a healthy child. We made it to 36 weeks and 6 pounds (well, he dropped a pound in the hospital so I think of him as a 5 pound baby) and I adore Richard more every time I look at him. I still can't believe he's here!

My husband got me through those spells of disbelief. Faith, positive thinking, good medical care... I had all those things but I needed someone to cling to, someone to tell me things would be OK, someone to let me rage and rant. I got very needy- exactly the kind of wimpy, damsel in distress behavior that I hate. And Bill was there every step of the way, calming my fears as we endured a huge list of pregnancy complications. To top it all off we survived unemployment and money fears, insurance problems and oh yeah, the daily challenges of maintaining our newly purchased condo & the toddler we tried to keep blissfully unaware of our stress.

Vincent showed some signs of the stress. The most worrisome to me was when he stopped saying any new words and resorted to mumbling and pointing a lot. I'm a chatty person so seeing my son fall silent was especially disturbing. No worries, he's caught up and chats all day long now, even in his sleep... I catch him muttering about

I knew we were the kind of people who become totally different after having a baby. The ones who seem to lose the ability to form sentences that don't involve animal sounds. (

We survived the first year!!



Vincent had his first birthday in July. We are happy. Blissed out. After his rough start in the NICU and suffering through his bouts of reflux, he has never had a major illness. When he was 11 months old he had his first fever and I'm proud to say we didn't rush him straight to the pediatrician. We thoughtfully went over his symptoms and THEN rushed to call our pediatrician. And I probably would have been able to manage his symptoms at home for a day or two except that he stopped putting weight on his right leg the same day his temperature rose to 102.5 degrees.




With all my experience in Children's Hospitals, I know that fever of unknown origin is the real concern, so my first duty was to try and find a source of his illness. Was he teething? No, his teeth looked the same as they had since he was 9 months old. Did he pull at his ears or have a stuffy nose? Nah, no signs of discomfort there other than an adorable habit of clutching his head when confused or told "No." He was just cranky beyond belief, bursting into tears if his favorite book was out of reach or if the cat snubbed him. Recently he had taken 3 or 4 steps unassisted between one piece of furniture and another, a new milestone in the cruising he'd been doing since 8 months. Then he suddenly sat down, acted like his right leg hurt and refused to let us manipulate it, even during diaper changes. That set off alarm bells for me; I was worried he might have an infection in one of his joints. So we were off to the doctor's office, where they found spots on his tonsils indicating a virus (source of fever? Check!) and suggested the leg thing could be a muscle ache but if he didn't show improvement by the next morning, we'd head to the hospital for X-rays. Our pediatrician is great, he would meet us at the Children's Hospital 30 miles away on a Saturday if necessary. There was no need for concern, the fever was easily controlled with Tylenol or ibuprofen, Vincent started putting weight on his leg again and everyone was happy again.

One nagging concern plagued me: I thought it was weird that he refused to take steps anymore and returned to crawling like a mad man. So of course I fretted over his muscle tone and development for the next 8 weeks until he resumed cruising and taking occasional steps. I didn't need to worry, he was up and staggering by his first birthday. He mastered running not long after that. It's the funniest thing to see a toddler react to a stubbed toe! They're like, "Hey, who hit me on my foot? I couldn't have caused that!"


Around this time I signed up for a couple of local mommy groups, the kind that meet at parks and playgrounds rather than play "dates" in each others home. Vincent and I were going to the beach anyway so we simply adjusted our visits to coincide with these other moms and tots. I was out walking the boardwalk with him in the stroller twice a week, hitting the local playgrounds each afternoon and taking picnic lunches to the libraries and street fairs. We had found our stride as mommy and baby companions, going on adventures, exploring new community areas and making friends over graham crackers and sand shovels.



The parks and libraries near us are fantastic. I quickly learned the pros and cons of each activity: this park has sand and wood chips, not good if you don't want to be cleaning out the cracks & crevices afterward, this one has slides that are too hot by mid-afternoon, this one has water features that delight everyone as long as you have a towel. I learned that kids will eat sand (mmm, salty!) and it can leave a mean diaper rash on it's way out. Taking along a basin to fill with salt water while sitting on the packed sand and referring to the receding waves as "bubbles" helps entertain a toddler who loves playing in water but gets freaked out by the splash of sea spray.


Unfortunately we aren't spending much time with the mommy and tot groups anymore. I was so thrilled to have that special time for adventures with Vincent and we'll get back to it soon. Our adventures are based around the home now, enjoying the toys he got for his birthday and spending quality time with Daddy. We liked having a baby around so much, we decided that if having one was good, TWO must be better.

The newest addition to our household is due in January 2009. We're expecting baby #2 with our repeat C-section scheduled for December 18, 2008. That would let us be home by Christmas, ready to settle into life with two under two.

How bad can two be?

OK, I can come to grips with it.

Vincent is 9 months old. That's three-quarters of a YEAR. That's toddler-in-training territory. That's terrifying!

(I alliterate when I'm anxious, can you tell?)

The whole "how do they grow up so fast" sentiment is overused and I'm sure you'll agree with me about it, so I'll get to the specifics. We have survived 9 months of getting to know each other, forming our family dynamic and we're pretty pleased with the whole deal. Our son sleeps well (it's rare for him to wake during the night) and is growing at an appropriate rate. He eats like a champ. His Grandma calls him "a fooder" and I think he's never tried something in his mouth that he didn't like.

The problem is that he is reluctant to swallow something if it is offered at mealtimes. Piece of lint on the floor? He'll down that with gusto! Attractive, lovingly prepared homemade mash of veggies or fruit? Gah. The expression on his face when you strap him into a seat and offer him a spoonful of deliciousness is priceless. He presses his lips shut and wiggles sideways and fights you about the first bite. ONLY the first bite. Once it's in, he grimaces with a mixture of horror and delight and then regains his senses, ready to snarf down anything edible on his tray. Then he follows it up with a side of inedibles.

This kid loves his food. He'd love your food too, if you let him see it. So why does he clam up and give me the furiously shaking "NO!" face every single time when I approach him with that first bite?

He does that because he's human.

I made a crude analogy to my own experience as we are preparing to move into our new home. I've been presented with this wonderful experience and I refuse to open up and enjoy it. I squirm and fight and complain... and yet I'm famished and can't wait to fill up on the goodies. I've caught myself acting like this before, when I found the man of my dreams, when I was expecting the baby of our dreams. It's just my selfish, scaredy cat nature telling me that I won't like it.

I just need to get past that first bite.

One of the many uses for this blog space is to share ideas and helpful hints. We have plenty of opinions on a variety of topics and will be glad to bore you with tales of domestic chores. I mean, we're the only couple I know who fuss at each other about who gets to do the dishes! (Bill does them due to a rule called "You cook, I do the dishes" in case you were wondering.)

Here's what I have to offer about shoes:

Got stinky shoes? You can deodorize them with a couple of common household items: wadded up dryer sheets or clay cat litter (fragranced or unscented) put into a sock or stocking can be stuffed into your shoes and sneakers. It works. Simple, effective and cheap- my favorite combo!

I put the cat litter sachets in my shoes and our cat, who suffers from a compulsive need to steal stinky shoes, leaves them alone. I've heard burying super stinky shoes in a pan full of cat litter WILL get rid of the worst sneaker funk but I don't recommend it if you have a cat. You could end up with a very confused kitty.



Baby shoes can be so hard to buy. I loved the early months when our little guy waved around his tiny, pristine toes and they were just kissable and smooth. Now he's toddling or crawling through all kinds of dirt and his feet are ridiculously grungy. How do you get dirt out from under baby toenails?? I've been using a soft baby toothbrush as a nailbrush in the tub but even so there seems to be a permanent layer of grime in the rolls of Vincent's toes.

Vincent has pudgy toes and giant block shaped feet, what my Aunt Arlene would call "Fred Flintstone feet." I've had a terrible time finding baby shoes that fit him! The usual baby shoes are too tight or too long. So far I have found 3 favorite soft soled baby shoes:

• The Target line of leather baby shoes. They're affordable and so far they've held up for the few months that they fit.



• The original leather baby Robeez are nice but too pricey for me. I only have second hand ones.



• I stumbled across these super cute, nice fitting Vincent brand shoes online and when they go on sale, I stock up. I wouldn't pay the full price but their sales are great- usually less than $12 per pair.

Usually Vincent is an easy kid, especially at night. I know I'm jinxing it by saying so, but he rarely fusses or wakes once he falls asleep.

Recently he has been teething and this makes him cry in pain at all hours. I'm so unaccustomed to outbursts after lights out that it creates a guilty panic in me. What on Earth is wrong with my child??

Last night I went in to check on him when he started wailing at almost midnight. In the glow of his night light, I could see the tears falling down his reddened cheeks. It was truly pitiful. I picked him up, changed him, gave him a dose of Tylenol, rocked him- I did everything I could think of to make him comfortable.

When I finally laid him back down in the crib, it struck me how much he looked like he did when he was first born. Bill mentions each week how much Vincent is changing in appearance. His face is longer, his hair is filling in and he's so sturdy. There is very little resemblance to the noodly bundle we brought home from the hospital. Yet there he was in his crib, furiously chomping on a pacifier, gripping both of my hands in his fingers as he drifted off to sleep. He looked exactly as helpless as he did when he was 2 weeks old.





only 2 DAYS old






As much as he looked like a pitiful newborn, there was a HUGE difference: he was telling me "mommy, I need you." Oh how I wished for some clear communication when he was 2 weeks old, some guidance about what he needed or why he was crying. Last night, I was just told "I need you" in that iron grip and that sleepy gaze. I'd anticipated any other needs (dry diaper, good temperature in the room, something to soothe his gums) and he clearly says "Mama" now. Last night it was just communicated in his eyes, "Mama, I need you."





8 months old






And that made me cry.

Oh, and the fact that he weighs at least 19 pounds so rocking, cradling him and bending over him in the crib results in one AWFUL back spasm that may have brought a little tear to my eye as well.

So what?? It's worth it.

Hi there. I'm embarrassed to realize that nothing has been updated on this blog since Thanksgiving... of last year. We're now past St. Patrick's Day.

(gulp)

That means I haven't told you about baby's first Christmas, baby's first New Year's celebration, baby's first Valentine's Day or baby's first St. Patrick's Day.

That also means I haven't told you about baby's first tooth, baby's first crawl and baby's first head bonk. Yes, he's pulling up on the furniture and cruising along any object that will support his weight. He can run across the room if his hands are firmly planted on a push toy.

Vincent's baby days are disappearing at a terrifying rate. His dad says he looks different every day- less like an infant, more like a toddler.

We are duly terrified.

Well, I didn't want our blog to turn into nothing but tales of parp and boof in our post-baby universe. Today I am making a new resolution to post on a weekly basis. To accomplish this, I'm going to be writing shorter posts, adding reviews or recipes and trying to find topics beyond the wonders of having a new baby.

Now, here is your US RDA of baby giggles for the day:

Click to see the video.

We got more bounce in California than all y'all combined.

Click to see the video proof.

UPDATED February 2008

Well, the Vegas deal didn't last. It was a fun idea but it just wasn't meant to be. Now Grandma and Grandpa Farren will be visiting from Virginia as often as possible. It's a little bit more of a trip but at least Grandpa Farren gets to be retired again!

"What happens at Grandma's, STAYS at Grandma's" might be our new slogan. We just got the news that Grandma Farren will be getting an apartment in Las Vegas while her husband works there for at least a year.

Vegas BABY!

That means that soon both sets of grandparents will be within easy driving distance of our home! Having Grandma Farren so much closer than Virginia will increase our ability to visit. Vincent does great in the car and short flights are easy to get to Las Vegas. I was dreading the thought of trying to make it across the country with an infant when I know how grumpy I get traveling long distances. I'm really excited that my mom is already thinking about how she can come and visit with us too- who wants to be stuck in the desert in the summer when we live a mile from the beach?!

I'm really looking forward to building new traditions with our son and our extended family. As we enjoy our first holiday season as parents, there are so many opportunities to build happy memories. Festive things like getting a stocking full of nuts, candies and office supplies, with a tangerine stuffed in the toe.

Doesn't Santa bring all good children mini-staplers?



In other news, I found the perfect outfit to hide the poo-splosions we are now experiencing on a regular basis: camouflage onesie and brown pants. 'Nuff said.

UPDATED Thursday 12:00pm

I think we can call this threat officially whupped. There are plenty of fires still burning but they are in less populated and evacuated areas. Putting the fires out will take at least a week, maybe longer, but if they are contained, the threat to humans is much less.

I'm sure we'll see interesting effects from the fires as cleanup begins. Wild animals get driven out and there is lots of funky behavior from humans and critters in all this confusion. Just last Saturday, before the fires, a local high school found evidence of a mountain lion wandering around their football field. Things will get weirder before they get back to normal.

Our cats seem calm and relaxed now so I think I'll follow their lead. This is probably the last time we need to update our site about local events. Thanks for all the offers of help and expressions of concern. It's nice to know so many people are looking out for us!


Wednesday October 24
All is calm here tonight. Uncle Mike hasn't been able to return to either property but the reports say there were no homes burned on those streets so he's pretty confident they'll be OK. He said they are enjoying good food and TV on the boat for now.

Please remember to keep the injured firefighters in your prayers. There are still several fighting for their lives at local hospitals.

It's good to hear that the citizens of San Diego have put forth their best effort to support each other during this crisis. When they evacuated thousands of people to the football stadium, there were comments about how that had NOT worked out very well for FEMA before and yet our city showed that we can make the best out of a bad situation. The donations, volunteers and generally good behavior have really been inspiring. If you've ever been in Santa Ana winds for long you know they tend to make people act crazy and out of sorts (without any natural disasters) and they give me awful sinus attacks and headaches. Crime and nastiness has been pretty minimal during this whole week and that's amazing to me.

"Stay classy San Diego."

Looks like they reopened the freeway North of us Wednesday afternoon so we could wander on up to L.A. if needed. They are actually starting to say the worst may be over; the winds have been favorable today and we now have more firefighters and equipment battling the blazes. Expect the fires to continue at some level for another week before they are completely contained. Air quality is likely to worsen over the next few days but the weather is supposed to improve by Thursday, meaning less chance that the fires will flare up since the winds should die down.

New fires burned late Tuesday night at Camp Pendleton to the North of us that are moving towards the coast and have cut off our evacuation route to L.A. Part of the 5 Freeway is closed and the trains are not running just a few miles North of us, so for right now we are forced to stay put while we wait and see what happens next. There is no imminent threat to us at home as of Wednesday morning. The baby seems to be handling the smoke and ash; he's just moody like the rest of us.

You should have heard the footage one local station aired when they filmed next to the dying embers of one destroyed home only to be suddenly under attack from exploding ammunition that was stored in the garage. It sounded like irregular machine gun fire, leading me to wonder just how much ammo do my neighbors think they NEED on a daily basis?? Well, lets just hope nothing blows up at Camp Pendleton because I'm SURE they have more ammo than was stored in a civilian home nearby!

Just to give some idea of the scale of what we're seeing today, think of our neighborhood (and Kathleen's) as the green stuff and the burning areas as the red stuff. If the burning areas get any closer, I think we'd better swim out to sea!


Tuesday October 22
Uncle Mike has safely evacuated from BOTH of his homes as of Tuesday night- the one in Julian and the one in Rancho Santa Fe- so he and his wife will be staying on board their comfy boat just South of us. He sounds pretty upbeat for someone who has two homes threatened by two different fires!


Here are the sites I've been using to get the best information about the San Diego County fires:

http://www.sdcountyemergency.com/

http://www.carlsbadca.gov/fire/2007fire.html

And this map may help you visualize the local fires (there are too many to name). We are most worried about the Witch Creek Fire in the North County.

Air quality is bad here but there's no threat from blowing embers. We'll be home, stuffy and cooped up, probably for a few days. Thankfully no overnight evacuations, none expected for us right now. We're packed and prepared, meaning I've located all the canned fruit, filled the tub with water, put extra kitty litter in the car- wait, that's what you do for hurricanes and snowstorms! We just need face masks and extra moisturizer right now. 80 degrees with 5% humidity may sound nifty but it gets old after a few days.

Monday October 21
Talked to Uncle Mike Monday night and he is safe in Julian (the fires are South of him there) so everyone is going to stay put for the night. Tomorrow should bring more information about damages and the condition of Uncle Mike's other home. For now, no harm done and no one is living out of any shelters.

So far no evacuations for our family or Kathleen's home. They are ordering evacuations 15 miles East of us and about 3 miles South- our local evacuation center is a mall that is walking distance from our house, so if Kathleen needs to get away from her tinder-box-nature preserve neighborhood, she will probably come West to our place first. Then we can pack up and all head North in to Oceanside and even up to L.A. if needed.

The winds are gusting up to 60mph and our area has a lovely 8% humidity today (hey, it was only 5% humidity yesterday) but we try to increase that in our home with nearly 100 gallons of warm tropical saltwater in our fish tanks.

I should take this as an opportunity to let you know about my favorite lip balm, extremely helpful for these Santa Ana conditions when the winds suck the moisture from your eyeballs until you want to slice onions all day just to muster up a few tears. My favorite everyday lip goo is Kiss My Face Organic lip balm. I'm not a fan of Chap Stick or minty ointments, I just want something to throw in my pocket that has an appealing fragrance (Sliced Peaches!) and keeps me from looking like the Crypt Keeper. This is a must have thanks to the SPF and smooth texture and it's never melted in my hot car. I even rub it on my cracked cuticles.

Mmm, onion juice.

We're all at home while the county is burning. So far everyone has checked in and is safe. Uncle Mike said he is at his home in Julian and has no power due to the Ramona fire just South of him and his Rancho Santa Fe home has been evacuated, so we're hoping he'll make it safely South and West to either our house or his boat. His boat is currently docked at Shelter Island. If nothing else we can all head out to sea!! Pray that we are all spared total destruction- these fires are worse than the ones we had 4 years ago.

Local businesses are closing and the fires are moving West towards our neighborhoods but we have several major highways and business parks that will serve as fire breaks and keep us safe. We can walk to the beach so we know which way to head for evacuation! Kathleen and Sean headed to work but we expect that most businesses will shut down- Kathleen may have to stay behind and monitor the hospitals during emergency procedures. She IS the chief resident so her administrative duties kick in during times like this. Their new home is in a safer area than the place they just left (which was on the border of the area that burned down 4 years ago) but there are raging fires just East of us and these winds could cause all kinds of new developments.

I don't want my life to become nothing but stories about poop and barf (or parp and boof* as my brain reinterprets it.) Isn't that the fate of most first time parents? I mean, the first time we had a diaper blowout I figured it was worth a blog post!

(Aren't you glad I ran out of time to write it and then reconsidered??)

I still have lots of poop stories for anyone who wants to hear them. Don't get me started on the various benefits of different brands diapers... and that reminds me that I could use this web space for something with more universal appeal than just diaper stories. I can offer my reviews of favorite items and places. I can use this space to tell crafty stories about things we've done that worked really well for us. I can describe our attempts to be clever.

I have one main goal right now: I want to simplify my life- delete the spam, clear out the Inbox, start each day with a manageable list of To Do items. I hope to refine our home page and get to the core of the things that excite us: photos, nifty ideas, entertainment and family stuff. I like to think of it as a chance to have a laid back conversation with our family audience. Keep it simple, keep it short(er) and keep it current.

That should give me time to enjoy our little guy, maintain this web site and revel in the stories about parp and boof.

So keep an eye out for some changes to our layout and feel free to offer any suggestions! I'm thinking about including all sorts of subjects, from recipes and movie reviews to photo specials and video clips. Bear with me as we work out the details.



* I have trouble with mixing up pairs of words, like names of couples get switched around so that "Kim and Jenni" morphs into "Jim and Kenni" or worse, "Rick and Lynn" become "Lick and Rynn."

Unga.

It's been a big week at our house. Here's the scoop:

• We spent our first night away from the baby!
  
• He learned to grasp a toy while we were away.
  
• He also started rolling over once we got back home, so we got to experience another first together.
  

"Unga!"

Why does my husband have the uncanny ability to be too right about things?

Like when I went through weeks of justifying our scheduled C-section to everyone (feeling guilt about not trying to labor naturally) I always included a huge disclaimer that we were medically required to deliver at 37 weeks which counts as FULL TERM. Bill insisted on following up with a comment about how big the baby was at only 34 weeks and his prediction that we

I'm amazed how four little words now define my world. First it was "Since we got married." Then it progressed to "when the baby comes." It seemed like such a long wait but actually it has only been one year. Now I have to learn a whole new vocabulary:





We had a baby.






We've crammed a lot into a year or so. Ah, the carefree days of married bliss- oh, wait, we barely had three months of that before starting this journey to parenthood. Well, the carefree days of being engaged- oh, wait, we barely had four months of THAT. We've been preparing for the rest of our life together the entire time we've been together! That's all the anticipation I can handle. Ask around: I don't do 'patient.'

Throughout my pregnancy I had no idea what our baby would look like and the only guess I had at his behavior was the fact that he squirmed and hiccuped like crazy. On the ultrasounds he was always grabbing at things or clutching his fists by his face like a little boxer, predicting that we would need to keep his little hands constantly occupied. I was going crazy wanting to meet our son and find out everything about him. Nine months dragged out into an eternity.

Going to the hospital was very intimidating. Yes, I've worked in hospitals for years but they still scare me when I'm the patient. I can tune out all the scary stuff when I'm a staff member but as soon as they get me undressed on a tiny gurney, I freak out. I do NOT deal well with being the one receiving the medical care! (see also 'does not do patient' above) Thanks to my loving, patient and incredibly strong husband I made it through many weeks of anxiety without really despairing that things would go wrong.

There were too many adventures during this pregnancy and the birth of our son to sum up in a neat, tidy birth story. We were high risk. We feared every day for my health and the baby's health. I had to inject blood thinners every day to keep the baby growing well. We had extensive ultrasounds to watch for problems with me or with the baby. The threat of premature labor and bed rest sounded much worse than they were in reality. I didn't have diabetes or high blood pressure. We were monitored very closely by many experts. Everything was going so well I think we bored the high risk specialists. In the last weeks of the pregnancy, the baby was measuring big and healthy and they really had to look for complications- generally the baby and I were in excellent health. We had the luxury of a scheduled due date. We made insanely detailed preparations yet we were totally unprepared in so many ways.

Our due date was at the end of July. I was not supposed to go into labor on my own due to physical complications of the pregnancy. The doctors had me in Labor & Delivery practically every day in the last weeks before our son's birth, making sure that he didn't arrive too early. We had a C-section scheduled for July 2 and I was anxiously awaiting our BIG DAY. Yes, almost exactly one year after our last BIG DAY. How cool is that?! An anniversary and a birthday all in one week!

We were scheduled to deliver early on a Monday morning. We had celebrated our anniversary over the weekend, first at the same steak house where we had our rehearsal dinner last year, then with a quiet Sunday afternoon listening to Irish music in the same pub where Bill proposed to me. Later I had a piece of our wedding cake (and it still tasted delicious thanks to the careful freezing done by the caterers) as my last meal before preparing for the C-section. It was a wonderful, romantic weekend.

The morning of our C-section I phoned Labor & Delivery as instructed after a sleepless night and was quickly told there was NO way we'd be admitted to the hospital since they were completely full. It would not be possible for at least another day. Yeah, tell the most impatient pregnant lady on the planet that she has to wait longer to have her baby and see if she doesn't freak out!?!

I gulped back tears and went to soak in a lavender scented bubble bath. It dawned on me that the Braxton-Hicks contractions I'd been feeling all weekend were actually turning into something stronger and more regular. I woke up Bill and he suggested I time the contractions and call the hospital back. A few hours passed and the contractions were getting more frequent so they told me to come down for monitoring but only as an outpatient; the very nice Charge Nurse said she was sympathetic but really couldn't do anything about the lack of beds.

Once we got to the hospital we were amazed to find out there had been a lull in the activity and they would perform my C-section immediately. While the Charge Nurse still wasn't sure where to admit me, they could hold us in Recovery while they hoped a bed would open up that night. Perfect: I would have the doctor I liked delivering my baby, the best anesthesiologist would give me my spinal (in between my damaged lumbar discs) and we'd get to meet our baby without further delay! I was thrilled and excited-and Bill nearly forgot to get the camera and pay the long term parking.

Everything happened quickly and before I had time to fret about anything, they were pulling out our son and showing him to us. He cried as soon as he came out and he peed on the surgeons for good measure. The brand new medical student fainted- it may have been her first time in a real surgery- and there were tears all around as the staff cheered for us. By my dates we were 3 weeks from our due date or 37 weeks exactly and the C-section was just in the nick of time. There was such a weak spot on the uterus it was transparent and if I'd had many more contractions, everything could have broken apart and caused real problems.

A perfect ending to a perfect year with my perfect husband: ah, the arrogance of thinking I was perfect struck me all too quickly. I guess I needed to be humbled a bit (hey, we did have the most beautiful baby EVER) so the roller coaster ride started up the hill again just two days after having our son.

We went from happy, exhausted parents recovering from a C-section by sharing a hospital room with our new son to parents of a baby in the Intensive Care Unit, facing the challenges of separation from our baby, medical needs and choices about what we should do next.






And yet was still the best week of my life: our son was born.

This is a six dollar burger for people:










This is a six dollar seafood special for lionfish:


MMMM, TASTY!




Bill brought home a new damsel fish yesterday as the last addition to our "aggressive" saltwater community tank. He carefully selected a big one that would be able to hold it's own in a confined space with other predators. As soon as he deposited the new inhabitant into the tank... Gulp!



The lionfish consumed the newest purchase in one bite.

At least now there is another big belly roaming around our house. I appreciate the sympathy.

I have a sick and twisted sense of humor, I guess. I laughed at this for hours.




And we won't have to worry about feeding the fish while we are busy having our baby next week.

Things no one ever told me about pregnancy:

• How I would shed so many EYELASHES (not to mention the rest of my hair) that it would look worse than the cat hair on my shirt and leave me squinting like a pirate for months.
  
  
• How the lanolin cream recommended for breastfeeding would leave me smelling like a petting zoo.
  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=53 Mon, 25 Jun 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  Bill made up this little icon guy and I thought it was the perfect representation to stick on our ultrasounds to show off what we were expecting:
  
  
  
  
  Little did I know that this might be an ACCURATE depiction of our child.
  
  Baby statistics for this week:
  
  Currently 33 weeks, 6 days pregnant by dates.
  Ultrasound measures 35 weeks, 2 days.
  Overall, this baby is estimated at 5 lbs 6oz or 66th percentile on the growth chart.
  He has been growing on or slightly ahead of the curve, usually measuring 2 weeks ahead. But his noggin? Measuring 5 weeks ahead! Yes, he

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=52 Sun, 10 Jun 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  Dear Makers of Tums,
  
  As a woman entering her seventh month of pregnancy, I enjoy your products. I consume at least 100 of them each month. And I enjoy searching for new and exciting flavors. This week I bought the Tropical Fruit Ultra 1000mg chewable variety. The banana flavor is

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=51 Tue, 17 Apr 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  Have you ever feared the rise of zombie spiders in your bathroom?
  
  You know when you try to take a bath but there is a particularly ugly spider residing in the tub so you wash him down the drain, only to fear he will crawl back up the pipes, breach through the tub stopper and attack you as you settle in among the bubbles?
  
  Yeah, I worry about that all the time.
  
  Perhaps it is because I spend waaay too much time watching documentaries. In an attempt to reduce my overall stress level during this pregnancy, I'm avoiding broadcasts of the daily news or thrilling dramas on TV. Also I've recently been challenged by the smarts of the ten year olds in our family, so I need to brush up on my science knowledge.
  
  Today Bill presented me with "World's Biggest, Baddest Bugs" in HD. It is amusing to see our cats following the motion on the screen as creepy crawly things move from side to side. But I think it's giving me weird nightmares.
  
  It's OK, I still have about 6 recorded episodes of my new favorite show to watch. We are HUGE fans of the BBC production "Planet Earth". I promise you have never seen such incredible views of life on Earth.
  
  COOLEST. PLANET. EVER.
  
  And we get to live here.
  
  I have a few comments on the series:
  
  We prefer the BBC original documentaries to the American version airing on Discovery Channel right now. Sigourney Weaver just doesn't describe nature with the same amazement and gravitas that David Attenborough imparts plus the scripts are edited differently.
  
  BBC version has no commercials.
  
  Generally there is little emphasis on global warming, pollution and bad human behavior. I just read enough National Geographic articles about elephant poachers and disapperaing ice floes to keep me feeling guilty for years. Humans are generally left out of the discussions here, except to note how few humans have ever seen this amazing terrain and the animals filmed.
  
  There are short behind-the-scenes video "diaries" at the end of the BBC versions which crack me up. Especially when this one Scottish wildlife photographer gives descriptions of their terribly harsh filming conditions in 30 seconds or less. For example, to film on a remote Norwegian tundra they had to eschew all motorized vehicles and lug their gear on sleds for days in sub-zero temperatures. This Scotsman happily notes in his video diary that the first Artic explorers named their sleds things like "Intrepid" so he has similarly named his "@#%!-bleep-*&@#!-bleeping-heavy-unwieldy-piece-of-equipment."
  
  I am perpetually amused by mating rituals in the wild and have a twelve-year old's tendency to giggle uncontrollably whenever they show the things that are considered attractive in the animal world. I'd show this to my kids without fearing too many grimaces or tears over sad hunting sequences (there is plenty of tension, no real gore) but expect the giggles. Generally this documentary is tame when it comes to sex and violence without any objectionable language, although the Brits refer to donkeys as "asses" (snort, snuffle, guffaw).
  
  This is my new favorite show, ranking above "Battlestar Galactica" and I'm savoring each episode. There are a few other enjoyable selections out there. Baseball season has begun and watching the games in HD is nearly as good as going down to Petco Park. We saw "Children of Men" and "The Prestige" recently and I enjoyed them both. Bill is happily anticipating the summer blockbusters, even if it's difficult to get to the theatre with a newborn in tow.
  
  Now I have to go check for zombie spiders or their vengeful relatives in my shower.
  
  

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=50 Tue, 10 Apr 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  I

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=49 Thu, 22 Mar 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  This morning I

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=48 Wed, 7 Mar 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  We've officially reached the half-baked point in this pregnancy. Phew! Twenty weeks down, an eternity left to go...
  
  I thought the months of all-day-and-especially-at-night sickness were never going to end. I worried too much about things going wrong. I came down with every symptom of pregnancy and even invented a few new ones.
  
  Bloating? Check. Moody? Double check. Forgetful? Ummm, can't remember... oh yeah, check. Digestive troubles? OH YEAH. My father had a great term that sums up my daily condition: "frusterpated (adjective) : a combination of the words frustrated and exasperated to indicate the condition of being both simultaneously." Only in my condition, substitute "constipated" for "exasperated." I think that says it all.
  
  I was having my breakfast of popcorn and apple juice (yes, food from the Teri-atric menu) and forgot what I was doing between the fridge and the table. I brought the apple juice over and poured it on my popcorn instead of pouring it into my glass. Didn't even notice what I had done at first, until I reached into a bowl of soggy kernels.
  
  Too bad, that popcorn smelled good and I don't have any more. Well, I'll have pickles and cheese for breakfast instead.
  
  I've adopted a Muppet persona in my pregnant state: I'm Beaker. The tiniest thing sets me off, I whimper in a voice on only dogs can hear, I'm prone to insane amounts of fidgety-ness and I'm not good if you give me caffeine.
  
  Much like THIS:
  
  
  
  And I think I'm the only pregnant woman who has ever been told by her doctors to START drinking caffeine, as a treatment for my bad migraine headaches. Please have sympathy for my husband and any others who get caught up in my manic path to motherhood!!
  
  (And no, I shall NOT inform you of the results of any boiled cabbage experiments.)
  
  

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=47 Mon, 5 Mar 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  Our dear friends, Brad and Cliff, lost a member of their family recently- the eldest dog of their Borzoi pack passed away quietly from old age. Alexei was a stately, dignified old man who enhanced our family holidays for the past few years. Ever since they moved close to us, we been visiting and occasionally dog-sitting on the weekends. We've enjoyed the energy of the puppy, Maeve, and the company of the mild mannered red-headed girl, Lily, but Alex was always the one in control of the house. Bill & Alex seemed to have a special communication. Something to do with a sincere enjoyment of the best spot on the sofa and good food?
  
  If you've never seen a Borzoi in person, they are amazing! We made a short video of the remaining pack members, Lily and Maeve, doing what they do best: running. Alex was there too but he preferred a nice spot on the couch (the whole couch) and a good meal to chasing unseen rabbits. Click on the photo to the left to bring up a 15 second video clip of what these dogs can do.
  
  A new family dynamic is brewing, with the girls finding more space on the sofa and Maeve growing out of her puppy stage. We expect to continue enjoying many years with the Borzois as part of our extended family. Alex, you were one of a kind and we miss you!
  
  

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=46 Fri, 16 Feb 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  I've been terribly upset about being labeled as "Elderly" on my medical chart. I kid you not: it says "High Risk Pregnancy- Elderly" under diagnosis.
  
  I was battling stomach problems this week and soft, bland foods became the norm. I actually own prune juice now. Yeah, that'll make you feel young again.
  
  
  Tonight in the kitchen :
  
  ME: "I've had Ovaltine and jello tonight. It's like food you'd see served in an old folks home."
  
  BILL:"We'll call it 'Teri-atric' then."
  
  

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=45 Mon, 29 Jan 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  Welcome back! I've been off on a morning sickness hiatus.
  
  It's been a great 2007 so far. I keep getting reminded of that fact by Bill. He has an unfailingly happy attitude towards all the changes going on right now, while I remain cat-like in a sincere effort to store up sleep for next summer. Me-ow.
  
  I have finally found a doctor I like and we are off to a great relationship. This is SO much better than my previous experience! I mean, the man is a Department Head at the University, has hundreds of patients each week yet he gave me his cell phone number AND his email. Told me I can email him every day if it helps me relax about this pregnancy. He'll see me every week if I feel that something isn't right. For now I'm in there every 2 weeks getting a quick ultrasound to measure the baby and important structures and generally ward off any evil events. Oh, and to calm my insane anxiety. Well, I'm worried that my lack of skills in building a placenta will earn me an 'F' on each exam, so I go running to the professor for extra help every 2 weeks. So far everything looks great!
  
  We had a genetic screening because of my "advanced maternal age" risk factor for Down's syndrome or other trisomy. We're not doing amniocentesis; instead they can give you a special ultrasound and draw some blood to see if there is any evidence of these conditions in the baby. It turns out we not only got to see really cute images of the baby at a mere 12 weeks old, but they found no evidence of any trisomy so my risk is now that of the average 20 year old mother. Now take the word "elderly" off my chart!!!
  
  So all is well here. I'm totally baby obsessed. We've been given a crib and a rocker so far. I'm a little scared to buy anything more for the baby at this early stage, so I satisfied my need to shop by finding all sorts of great maternity wear. I love online shopping!
  
  This week's ultrasound I think they had the resolution turned up so they could see bones. I still think the baby is cute. Looks just like his/her father.
  
  
  
  
  Every family has a few skeletons in their closet, right?
  
  
  

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=44 Sat, 27 Jan 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  Today Bill was taking out the garbage so I took the opportunity to throw out all the half-eaten containers of spoiled food that littered our fridge. They were mostly restaurant leftovers (from meals where I happily ordered a huge dinner only to gag and yell

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=43 Tue, 9 Jan 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  Sorry we

  ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=42 Fri, 5 Jan 2007 00:00:00 PST Teri

  Becoming parents was a top priority as soon as we got married and luckily my dear husband enthusiastically agreed there was no need to wait. There certainly are some perks to finding a REAL man, one who is mature and thoughtful and baby crazy on his own. He even has a rudimentary understanding of the whole biology thing and is committed to helping me find the best doctors and the healthiest plan of attack for our future as parents. Adoption is a popular topic at our dinner table.
  
  We spent a huge amount of time weighing the options and looking for answers to difficult questions. Finally we had a direction, we had action items, we had...
  
  

  The Plan:
  

  • Get married.
  
  
  • Switch my insurance to Bill
    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=41 Tue, 19 Dec 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    We have returned from our vacation, a family reunion in Texas over Thanksgiving. The Smith family usually takes an annual road trip from L.A. to the Dallas/Ft. Worth area then on to Arkansas, Oklahoma and Missouri and we considered joining them. Bill and his Dad both enjoy driving across the country, even when it means marathon stretches on the road through flat, flat states... but it was not going to happen for us this year. (Too bad, I think all newlyweds should be confined in a car together for 20 or 30 hours to really find out how their relationship will hold up under pressure!)
    
    Bill's company is in a state of transition and he got a new boss one week before Thanksgiving. It didn't seem prudent to ask for 2 weeks of vacation right when they were piling on a bunch of new responsibilities, so instead we shortened our trip to a quick flight out to Dallas/Ft. Worth with a brief trip to Ft. Smith, Arkansas on the side.
    
    We were happy to attend this family reunion even if we missed out on the cross-country drive. I'd heard a lot about Bill's mother's side of the family, mostly because his Uncle Larry was the pastor at the church we attend now- which led to his father being invited to become a pastor there. Bill grew up living next door to the Vincent family so they have many friends in common. Our friend Darryl used to introduce newcomers to the church with "Hi, I'm Darryl and this is my Pastor Larry and this is my other Pastor Larry."
    
    [For those keeping track, I now have 4 important Larrys in my family: my stepfather, my uncle in Hawaii, my father-in-law and my mother-in-law's brother!]
    
    
    I'd never visited Texas or Arkansas. This was my first introduction to the extended family and I was understandably nervous. What would we have in common? Well, I could at least speak the language. I come by my Southern accent honestly, it's not a fake. Just get me on the phone with my Carolina relatives and I'll be throwing around "Y'all" and redneck colloquialisms in a heartbeat. And I know potato guns- I heard all about my Dad and his friends building their own out of PVC pipes and lighters. Turns out Uncle Larry has a "Spud Launcher" and we spent Thanksgiving shooting potatoes into a pond. You need a farm with plenty of space to fire them because those potato projectiles can travel hundreds of feet with a lot of force! This is not a toy for children.
    
    
    
    Other things I learned on our trip:
    
    

    • Lake Eufaula is very impressive. I mean, where else can I endlessly make the pun "Careful or Eufaula into da water." And they have an annual Crappiethon.
      
    • Truck stops sell this lemon-lime salt that totally appeals to my salt & vinegar cravings. It's appropriately named "Twang." (I love onomatopoeias. Twang. Buzz. Splat. Love 'em!)
      
    • Road signs direct you to Texoma. Sounds like something that should be removed by a doctor.
      
    • It is a biological imperative that when driving past fields of cows, one must say "Moo." Imperative.
      
    • The answer to the question "What do Oklahoma radio stations play the day after Thanksgiving?" is obviously, "Elvis Christmas Carols."
      
    • Texans will put up a nice sturdy metal sign saying "Damaged Guardrail Ahead" instead of using that effort to repair the guardrail.
      
    • I'm much more amusing in my own head when I sing "Ooooooo0klahoma" as we drive for 5 hours. I should NOT sing it out loud.
      
    • There is a dollar store named Boy Howdy over the Oklahoma line. Really.
      
    
    So what did y'all do over Thanksgiving? Boy howdy, hope y'all had a gud time.
    
    
    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=40 Wed, 6 Dec 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    On top of another week living in paradise, I had was busy ending a relationship.
    
    I had to break up with my doctor.
    
    Well, not really my doctor, just a specialist that I thought I wanted but we were totally wrong for each other. Our few weeks together were truly dysfunctional.
    
    See, I met him through friends, or rather through referrals from other doctors. The nervousness was unbearable. Will he notice my chipped toenail polish and reject me without ever speaking to me? What would we say to each other?? How would we spend our time together? (By leaving me waiting for 2 hours in his waiting room.) Would he pay attention to my needs? Or would he just ignore my medical records, then lose them. Twice.
    
    Then it progressed to the phone calls, deciding when to meet again. He promised to email me within a week- I never heard from him. I called but only got his machine. This quickly deteriorated into a scene from Swingers:
    
    

    "I, uh, just called to say I, uh, I'm really glad we met and you should give me a call. So call me tomorrow, or, like, in two days, whatever."
    
    (hangs up then dials again)
    
    "I just called because it sounded like your machine might've cut me off before I gave you my number..."
    
    (dials again)
    
    "OK, I just wanted to make sure you got my number. You should really give me a call. We can get together- soon. I'll be around so you can call me, anytime. I'd rather talk to you in person than try to squeeze it all into this message."
    
    (dials again)
    
    "Look, this just isn't working out. It's not you, it's me. I don't want to disappoint you... or seem weird. But call me!"
    

    
    
    And with that, I never heard from this doctor again, except that his secretary intercepted one of my calls and said she wasn't allowed to schedule another appointment for me on his strict instructions.
    
    It's over.
    
    My husband thoughtfully pointed out that I can ask for what I need or I can try to make people like me. There are times when I can't have both. Another doctor said he has no idea how guys like this stay in business, he'd never get away with treating a patient so badly. The staff at this medical facility universally agreed this doctor has no personality and can be a jerk. "He's British" was the polite excuse.
    
    I tried to let it go, to find another specialist, but deep down I wanted to win over this doctor, to change HIM.
    
    You can't change another person.
    
    So today I have an appointment with a NEW specialist. I even painted my toenails.
    
    Do you think he'll like me??
    
    
    
    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=39 Mon, 20 Nov 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    I actually turned down a job this week.
    
    What on EARTH was I thinking?
    
    I stopped looking for a new job weeks ago after getting turned down by a perfect sounding job. Now that perfect job is calling me back, practically begging me to work for them?? Well, it turns out the first person they hired

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=38 Sat, 11 Nov 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri
    (upon finding a swatch of satin stuffed in his pants pocket this morning
    which had disintegrated into a frayed mess)
    
    Bill: "What kind of madness have I wrought on my pocket?"
    
    Me: "Uh, I dunno."
    
    I'm not a morning person and such dramatic issues go right over my head at 7 AM.
    
    Madness in a pocket. I can relate. I even know why he has a swatch of satin in his pocket; something to do with a Halloween prop. I shall try to be alert for madness when I do laundry. The madness could spread: madness in a dryer, madness in a basket.
    
    We know about madness around here. My madness manifests in pillows. What on EARTH made me want 9 pillows on my bed? I selected the bedding set, I made it up pretty, but now? I have to move 9 big ol' pillows each time I climb up there. I didn't leave room to sleep!
    
    
    And it gets worse. Last time my sister was over, she asked for a throw pillow when propping up her bad back on our sofa. We have throw pillows, made of a nice velvety material, but they are being used as anti-cat devices. Since the cats don't like to lay on the velvet texture, the pillows are placed strategically around the house to prevent the cats from getting on the furniture. I had to go find her a bed pillow instead, because throw pillows just couldn't be used by the humans.
    
    Sheer madness, I tell you.
    
    Due to excessive shedding, I have banished the cats from the furniture. This wasn't too hard considering they only had a couple of favorite spots: Briscoe favors the bedspread, Dino likes a sunny spot on the sofa and they both love our little armchairs. I was sick and tired of vacuuming, lint-brushing and sticky-tape-attacking these seats everyday. It's not like we failed to provide them with their own comfy spots. We have a kitty condo and sheepskin cat bed. We also brought out a fuzzy horse blanket that was a Christmas gift to Briscoe last year. (Yep, that cat gets his own care packages in the mail. Don't ask.) They ignored these cat friendly spots and I'd constantly find them sleeping on my favorite seats. This meant I had to go through a minor guilt trip anytime I would shoo them off or I had to pick them up and unceremoniously deposit them back onto THEIR beds. Eventually they got the idea.
    
    Next the two cats fought over the horse blanket. I'd find it rumpled up and surrounded by tufts of fur, meaning it had become a kitty smack-down arena. Hey, at least they're getting exercise. I hadn't meant to stir up so much antagonism; after nearly a year they've learned to share this apartment with a grudging respect and even a sort of camaraderie. They have banded together to laugh at their humans (as Bill runs around the room clapping his hands trying to halt a pesky moth. Really, they know that moth is THEIRS to hunt.)
    
    
    I've found them grooming each other much more often. I was hoping this was a sign that they were Best Friends Forever but next thing ya know, they're chasing and hissing and scrabbling all over the place, knocking down anything in their path. Then they had a huge breakthrough today: they have taken to sharing the blanket and sleeping together.
    
    
    And now?
    
    
    
    Voila!
    
    
    They look so happy together.
    
    
    
    
    Now, don
    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=37 Fri, 27 Oct 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    I'm back. We've had a hectic couple of weeks around here and I just didn't have time to sit down and post anything. Oh, I've been composing these commentaries in my head... I just haven't actually typed them in to our everloving computers.
    
    As a little family of two, we have been so rewarded with friends and loved ones who enjoy seeing us and sharing their events with us. On the flip side, we're innundated with friends and family who want to be social with us- and it's exhausting sometimes!
    
    I've learned a couple of important lessons through being so happy and acting out my role as social butterfly:
    
    1) Stay humble. There is only so much incredibly cute exuberance that folks can stand to see before they get nauseous.
    
    2) Stay in the moment. Ignoring the scenery for that one perfect photo, or blowing off your spouse for a bunch of party chat can wreck the memory when you look back on it. Priorities need to be kept straight.
    
    Prime example: we love our apartment and the way we've decorated and made it homey. So we want to have friends come over here to visit with us. Even if we don't have seating for 10, even if we have no place for them to sleep, even if it means a mad dash cleaning spree that will tweak the best disposition into RAGE mode... we keep insisting that activities be based around our home. And circumstances have wisely dictated that WE are not always in charge. I've had to let it go and enjoy a night out even if we spend our time socializing on the sidewalk. Getting out of the house is a good thing. Once we have kids, that whole dynamic will shift.
    
    These lessons of humility and attentiveness have been played out over and over for me recently. I wanted so badly to show off how great I am at playing Happy Housewife that I got a reality check by being denied that opportunity the night I was all prepared to show off, then being challenged by it on a date I had no intentions of having people over! And really, am I truly the woman who wants to fight with her man over who hauled the cat litter (we both want to do it) or who gets to the dishes first (he always wins)?? There is something a little... off about the couple who help each other tidy up THAT much.
    
    We're weird in other lovely ways. No need to add "housekeeping freak" to my list of abnormalities. (Those Star Wars trivia challenges say enough.)
    
    A new community park opened a couple of blocks from our home. Between the park across the street from our apartment and this new facilty we have green fields and playgrounds all around us. Bill and I went to the grand opening of the new park and the community here does a nice job of supporting it's members- meaning they had lots of free stuff! And it was clean and pleasant (but the free stuff was the clincher). The local community centers and libraries are also proving enjoyable for me. I have good reason to be attached to this area and even more reasons to love our apartment. It gives us the ability to walk to the beach, bike to the train station and afford coastal living in a quiet, safe neighborhood in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Oh, right, stay humble. Well, we like living here.
    
    So when are you coming over...?

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=36 Tue, 24 Oct 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    Yesterday we experienced a rare condition in San Diego: water fell from the sky. This event causes panic and confusion among the citizens- where are the windshield wipers? What will I do if I get wet?? How much is this costing me in lost sunbathing time???
    
    I was headed down the freeway trying to meet someone and I failed to allow extra time for bad traffic. When I left home, everything looked normal for October: 74 degrees and sunny. Then as I worked my way down the coast, big clouds started to collect and deposit their watery contents onto the unsuspecting SoCal inhabitants. Between drivers freaking out over the drops falling on the pavement or staring up at the Blue Angels putting on an air show overhead, there was no hope of getting through the major commuter routes without an hour delay.
    
    The weather is fickle and in some patches the sun was shining out of a blue sky as though nothing ever changed. I had a family member here who lived right at the top of the cliffs on the beach and I remember how some days the front yard would be cloudy and moist but the backyard was sunny and clear.
    
    Funky, huh? It's tough living in paradise, I know.
    
    We live pretty close to the beach. Last time we went out, it was hard to select which kind of food we wanted to accompany our ocean sunset view. We settled on a bistro about a mile from home with an unobstructed view of the beach and good wine list. After a meal of seafood and a luxurious dessert, I knew we had chosen the right place to live. Sure, it's expensive. I choke and gasp when I see house prices here. Yes, we pay more for gasoline than (practically) anywhere else in the country. And it is also a vacation destination for countless tourists. Basically, we're on permanent vacation. If you have to spend the afternoon frustrated in rush hour traffic, where else could you be rewarded with such a tropical paradise when you get home?
    
    OK, you might say Hawaii (if we're sticking to the United States). Yeah, yeah, I have some family in Hawaii. It's nice to visit, but it's a lot harder to take the afternoon to go to Hollywood or Disneyland on a whim. Basically we have it goooood.
    
    
    Even stuck in the slow lanes on the freeway, the fickle weather provided me with sun to the west and rain to the east. That meant a beautiful rainbow over the mountains. Check out this double rainbow my friend Lynn photographed from her deck a while ago.
    
    
    I really do have it goooood. If nothing else, my perfect setting should remind me to be humble. When I spotted the rainbow in my traffic jam, I started humming my favorite Muppet song.
    

    Someday we'll find it
    The Rainbow Connection
    The lovers, the dreamers and me

    
    (Now you've got it stuck in yer head, dontcha?? Hee hee hee)
    
    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=35 Sat, 14 Oct 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    I tried going back to the gym this week. Since my ankle is still healing I was going to start out using the machines to just do an upper body workout. At this Curves-style gym, all of the upper body machines are in the middle of this insane circuit training circle filled with bodies that flail around moving from station to station every 30 seconds. I didn't dare hobble my way into the aerobics melee since it is still pretty painful to put any weight on my foot. That should have been my first clue that I wasn't ready to tackle the kind of exercise. But wait, there's more...
    
    
    I went over to the Pilates exercise balls and free weights. There was no one around in that area. Seemed safe enough. They have suggested routines on big posters on the walls or you can play one of their workout DVDs on the tiny TV in the corner. I selected one of the Upper Body Strength Training DVDs, put the volume on low and huddled in close to the screen with my giganto-inflata-ball and some 3 lb dumb bells.
    
    I felt ready to sit-on-a-ball-and-lift-weights along with the people on T.V.
    
    I was NOT ready, it turns out. After the first set of bicep curls, the motions got more complex. Before I knew it, I was gyrating on this torture ball in a futile attempt to keep my balance with my eyes glued to the TV screen, bright green weights in each hand and no control over my Southern Hemisphere. It was like I was trying to hula hoop and swim at the same time. I couldn't jettison the weights without looking to see where they might land but every move of my eyes caused my upper body to follow in that direction. I looked like a weightless 3 month old trying to do the backstroke in a tub of Jello. Not pretty.
    
    At this point I realized that I was:

    a) NOT strengthening my arms, since wild windmill gestures do not constitute an effective workout
    b) shredding every weak fiber that held my spine together
    c) providing endless footage for the next YouTube video sensation

    
    I am not nearly as graceful as I think I am and now the world knows it. I am the only person I know who has actually been told by their doctor to NEVER go jogging. Ever. Even the stationary bike is questionable. Basically, I'm terminally klutzy. Combine that with the bad luck that led me to have so many complicated orthopedic injuries and I've exceeded my lifetime insurance allotment for physical therapy. Even the physical therapy gym gave up on having me sit on the giganto-ball to do my exercises.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    It's final: gymnastics will never be a sport for me. I should enthusiastically demonstrate my talents in any (all) other areas. But I should not try this at the gym again. Ever.
    
    
    
    
    
    I may need to be restricted from telling stories about my trips to the gym. My sister laughed so hard at my retelling of the attack of the giganto-inflata-ball that she strained her injured back. Seems she just bought one of the things on her physical therapists recommendation and I felt I had a duty to warn her how unstable they can be
    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=34 Tue, 10 Oct 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    I started to write about my intense feelings a couple of times this week. Bill and I both felt emotionally worn out by Wednesday. I wrote about our shared grief over school shootings, about my worries for hypothetical children I'm not even raising yet, about other fears and anxieties... and I didn't put any of that writing here. Instead I thought about a conversation I had last Sunday. I was talking about why bad things happen, in a bit of a funk, with Bill and his father. And his father, fully engaged in his Sunday duties as pastor, reminded me that it is right to be horrified, it is right to seek justice, but it is wrong to despair. Some things are out of our control. Some things we will never understand. But we cannot despair. That helped. After a good nights sleep, I found my funny bone again.
    
    So instead of some scholarly debate on what our schools need and how to find solace in a threatening world, I changed my focus to the cats. Our cats. The shedding furballs that get all the attention anytime someone steps into our home. Or even outside our home. I leave the windows open and the cats fall over each other to sit on the tiny windowsills. Then they meow loudly at any visitors in the courtyard, gaining tons of sympathy from the neighbors who come by to say "Hi" each day. As you can see from their size, they

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=33 Fri, 6 Oct 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    Gar.
    
    I missed it.
    
    I was clueless.
    
    I had no idea.
    
    I lost the opportunity. Now I must wait for next year.
    
    September 19th was

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=30 Fri, 29 Sep 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    So my ankle is no better after 2 weeks. The doctor took x-rays and created a cast out of tape instead of subjecting me to an expensive orthopedic boot or a plaster splint. It

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=29 Mon, 25 Sep 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    OK, I figured out what I want for Christmas.
    
    I want family and friends to send me recipes. It

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=28 Thu, 21 Sep 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    Party on! This weekend was a great chance to celebrate because there were two birthdays and that means cake. I am not a big fan of cake except at one time of year: birthdays. When asked,

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=27 Tue, 19 Sep 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    This is the view I

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=26 Mon, 11 Sep 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    What kind of content do we want to put on our web site now that the wedding is done?
    
    It was easy to agree on how the page should look when we were embroiled in the construction of our new life together. Post-wedding life goes on, but I don

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=25 Tue, 29 Aug 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    If you wanted to tattoo a favorite quote on your body, what would it be?
    
    I went walking on the beach the other day. It was one of those perfect Southern California days. The temperature was just right, the sun was brilliant, and everything looked picture perfect. It was the kind of day where families were packing the beach with their umbrellas, sand pails and inquisitive toddlers.
    
    
    Then I came upon a young woman sunning herself in the usual fashion. She had an extra large tattoo on her lower back. It was very eye catching, visible just above her waistband. The lettering took up two lines and at least 6 inches with some scrollwork around the bottom.
    
    This tattoo was unusual because
    
    a) it was larger than most, with words visible from quite a distance away
    
    b) it quoted the Bible.
    
    What did she choose?
    
    

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=24 Fri, 18 Aug 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    Ever had those childhood playground moments when you just desperately wanted to be accepted? To be invited to play freeze-tag? To not be picked last for the team??
    
    I

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=23 Sun, 13 Aug 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    OK, I'm getting the questions about our two part honeymoon photos now.
    
    "Did you take two trips?"
    
    "Did you really go to the Everglades??"
    
    "Um, did you have any idea what Florida is like in July?!?"
    
    Allow me to explain.
    
    
    We spent the first 5 days of our honeymoon in the Bahamas. We spent the next 4 days in Florida, around Miami and the Upper Keys. The honeymoon destinations were mostly my planning. Bill thought the Atlantis resort was great and he had never been to the Atlantic so the Florida coast seemed like a nice accompaniment to our Bahamas trip. I grew up in Virginia and had several opportunities to visit Miami and the Florida Keys, especially when I was scuba diving, so I had many fond memories of those areas. I also had a built-in acclimation to heat and humidity since my family never owned air conditioning. I'd been through plenty of coastal storms when I lived in Virginia Beach and they don't scare me. We were suitably concerned that storms could hit the area since it was the beginning of hurricane season.
    
    Somewhere along the way, Bill mentioned that he was interested in the Everglades. Was it the wild alligators, the mysterious swamps, too many episodes of Invasion when it was on TV? We were flying through Miami so it was easy to arrange to spend a few nights in a resort in Islamorada and I figured that with my knowledge of the area, it would be a pleasant, inexpensive way to extend our honeymoon. Heh. Reality check, please? Here

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=22 Tue, 8 Aug 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    Here is my dirty little secret:
    
    I have a hidden desire to make music videos.
    
    This secret surfaced after we returned from our honeymoon and I had plenty of AVI clips to fiddle with from our camera.
    
    Waaaay back in my youth, I had an artsy side. All through high school I was the photographer, the theatre geek, the ultimate air-drummer. I began college majoring in Theatre doing Technical Design, like lighting and set design. I climbed around theatre ceilings like Spider Man, hanging lights and adjusting gels. I dreamed of going on tour with some major rock and roll concert, just so that my lighting effects could be seen by hundreds of thousands of fans.
    
    Then reality hit, I did a couple of plays that just plain STANK and I moved back to The Very Reasonable Sciences, to major in Biology. All that drama and flair has been backing up in my system for decades. It had to come out sooner or later.
    
    So far I have tried to let out this terrific need to express myself with obsessive picture taking and Photoshop editing galore. The first video I saw of Bill

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=21 Sat, 5 Aug 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    I researched. I planned. I couldn

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=20 Thu, 27 Jul 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    Was there an international plot between American Airlines and the Atlantis Resort to deprive us of our luggage so we

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=19 Sat, 22 Jul 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    OK, I hear this happens all the time to couples on their wedding day but I have to confess

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=18 Tue, 18 Jul 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    My sister wrote me these letters. She was in the middle of trying to sell her old & busted Honda after buying a nicer, used car when she had her brush with the hardened canteloupe-eating criminals of San Diego.
    
    You can

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=16 Wed, 14 Jun 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    George Carlin does a famous routine about

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=15 Thu, 8 Jun 2006 00:00:00 PST Bill

    Since I can use this blog for whatever I want, I figured I might use it to also review the occasional film I find interesting to share. So here's my first review of what I hope to be many.
    
    In short, I think Steamboy (2005) is interesting and different, pretty much family-friendly and worth taking a look at. This is an sci-fi "anime" (Japanese animation) style film. The 2D animation is augmented with 3D work, but even the 3D animation maintains a "hand-drawn" animated style. This permits an extraordinary level of detail. The same technique was used for The Iron Giant, and can produce amazing results. Most notably you'll find that anything large and mechanical in this film moves with a smoothness that the human animations do their best to keep up with. It's very effective.
    
    The Plot
    
    The year is 1866, and the setting is Manchester, England. This is an alternate universe where the concept of steam as a source of power and a springboard for technology has resulted in the development of advanced devices that can do almost anything.
    
    Young boy-wonder-inventor's-son Ray Steam receives a package in the mail from his grandfather, who disappeared years ago with his father to mine for a "pure" water, something so free of impurities that it could be pressurized so highly that it almost becomes its own power source. Turns out the package Ray has received is his father's "steam ball", a sphere the size of a bowling ball, which contains water so highly pressurized that it can run thousands of mechanical devices almost indefinitely when the pressure is controlled and released properly. Dad and Granddad have figured out how to harness this pressure.
    
    When the evil "Foundation" arrives to try to retrieve the steam ball, Ray's adventure begins. Through a series of harrowing events he finds himself in London, reunited with his father, as the steam ball is used to power the "steam castle", a colossal fortress that simply has to be seen to be believed.
    
    Along the way we learn that London is hosting one of the world's first technology expos, and competing steam companies from around the world are meeting to win government bids for war weapons. These companies will stop at nothing, including starting a war with each other in the middle of London, to convince the world to buy their technology. When chaos ensues, Ray must choose sides, trying not to get himself and his friends killed in the process.
    
    The Good
    
    A few things make this movie a rewarding experience. The ideas are very innovative. The notion that you can pressurize water so densely that it can be used as a powerplant for steam-based devices is used in this film in very exciting ways, and you can tell that the creators had fun coming up with new inventions.
    
    There are some really unique ideas for powering vehicles and weapons in a pre-combustion engine era. The vehicles and weapons themselves are big, loud, and creative above all things. Planes, trains and automobiles doesn't even come close to describing them. When you think you've seen the biggest thing these filmmakers can do, they unveil something bigger and more amazing.
    
    Perhaps I could mention the zeppelin with a claw capable of tearing the top off a train car. Or maybe gigantic steam-powered hands chasing Ray, who is flying around on a wingless tripod-like device that uses steam as a propellant for flight. Or maybe the twin-bodied cruise ship with paddleboat features. I'm not even scratching the surface of the amazing inventions shown in this film. I love this stuff. The retro-futuristic vision isn't often done well in film.
    
    The story, while not overall very exciting, moves the acts along very nicely, and each slow point is worth waiting through to get to the next action sequence. And I don't believe I've seen this kind of high-speed action in an animated film before. In some scenes too much is going on to even follow, and I really enjoyed seeing the wizardry in making it all happen. Especially in the action sequences, the animation is very smooth. The sound is loud (remember, steam is the driving force here), immersive and nuanced.
    
    The Bad
    
    Some of the characters are somewhat asinine (as is common in anime films), and you'll find yourself taking a look at your watch while you wait for the boy to brush off the very annoying spoiled little girl (named "Scarlett" of the "O'Hara" company, harhar) run around and, well, act spoiled. The only funny bits are when she bops her chihuahua on the head with her fist when it doesn't behave.
    
    There's also a lot of semi-philosohphical dialogue on the role of science in a world undergoing an industrial revolution. I don't know if it was the translation from the Japanese or just a lack of interest in saying anything meaningful, but it was hard to follow the logical progressions. I think the term "science" was used too often as a catch-all word, when sometimes it meant technology and other times it meant knowledge. The message often descends into babble. There seemed to be a bit too much of an indictment upon science and technology in and of itself, and not enough on those who might twist it to evil ends. Two extremes are portrayed: the evil ones who only want to sell weapons, and the naive ones who want to make amusement parks. Steamboy's message is confusing, awkwardly explained, and really not worth paying attention to. I got the sense that the creators had some really cool ideas for gadgets and gizmos, and then tried to write a story around it. It's only slightly effective.
    
    Finally, I found some of the English voice actors (Alfred Molina, Patrick Stewart and Anna Paquin) a bit too recognizable, and therefore somewhat jarring. Especially in their (largely successful) attempts at 1866 British accents. But this is a minor quibble.
    
    Instead, enjoy the eye candy and edge-of-your-seat action sequences. The story is fine, and is really just a vehicle for the vehicles.
    
    Final Word
    
    Overall I highly recommend Steamboy as a popcorn film that is rich in detail and highly entertaining. The movie is a nice long length for an animated film (1:45), the climax is exciting, and the ending is satisfying and worthwhile. When you think this film can't get any bigger in scope, it does.
    
    While the film is rated PG-13 (for violence only), it is mostly bloodless. The violence comes from the nature of large heavy equipment being used in what is essentially a glorified turf war. And it's interesting to see. It recalls shades of Federation-Republic battle sequences in the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Lots of death and destruction is shown, but not brutally so. There are no scenes that are adult in nature, and almost no strong language whatsoever. Steamboy could be run on prime-time TV with no editing.
    
    I haven't seen the Director's Cut (20 minutes longer). Some say it fleshes out the story better, others say it drags on too long. I was perfectly satisfied with the short version, and think that 20 extra minutes is pretty much unnecessary. But otherwise, drop Steamboy in your Netflix queue and check it out!
    
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    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=14 Mon, 15 May 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    My sister and I returned to Virginia over Easter. We were there to scatter my Dad

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=13 Fri, 12 May 2006 00:00:00 PST Bill

    So Teri and I spent a little time a few weeks ago deciding on the color coordination of outfits for the wedding party. We arrived at this very nice turquoise pattern for my vest and bowtie. Simple enough to pick them up and then set about acquiring the tux, right? Right.
    
    You see, nobody wears bowties that you actually tie anymore. You can't get them at a tux shop. Not only has the wraparound clip-on bowtie become mainstream, but it seems that fashion has adapted to this as well. Shirt collars are intended for that thin strip of fabric around the neck. Traditional bowties that you physically tie are now called "old style". Do I care? Nah, not too much.
    
    Until I get razzed a bit by a co-worker: "What if you want to go all James Bond at the end of the evening and let it hang loose? Do you want a thingy dangling from one end?" Argh. Can't be all that hard to get a real bowtie, right? Maybe even have one made if I can get half a yard of the fabric. As reality would have it, not only does a tux shop have a total inability to identify (let alone contact) the manufacturer of an item, not only do such manufacturers not even produce "old style" bowties anymore, but it also seems we may have chosen a pattern that is proprietary to the manufacturer. Figures.
    
    I've received some good recommendations from people in the know about how to secure a big enough sample of the fabric, or maybe even get a custom job done. All this for a tie. Doesn't matter that I've never tied a bowtie in my life and am not quite sure how I'll figure that out. Doesn't matter that I probably wouldn't let it hang loose at the end of the evening anyway. You do this once in a lifetime, right?
    
    It tasks me, and I shall have it.
    
    Am I putting FAR too much attention on such a trivial thing, when my energies would be better spent on logistical and spiritual preparation for this special event? Probably.
    
    But I'll give it the old college try before letting go!

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=12 Mon, 8 May 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    At a recent visit to the San Diego Zoo, I happened across an extraordinary display from the elephants. I recall the tour guide described one of the Asian elephants as

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=11 Wed, 3 May 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    Watching a recent television broadcast of the movie

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=9 Sun, 16 Apr 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    I am accustomed to my friends referring to their pets as children. I am not accustomed to seeing them purchase packages of Pampers for them. Recently my friend's dog went into heat and apparently the cost-effective solution for large breed dogs is to buy toddler sized Pull-ups for them to wear. The image of him standing in line with a package of Pull-ups for his one year old dog just made me laugh. Do you think the dog cares that he purchased the pink ones with images of Disney princesses all over them? Thank goodness humans don't broadcast their hormonal status so loudly that dogs three blocks away are doing flips to get over fences and impress them. Or do we?
    
    Recently I heard a guy complaining that his boss filed a grievance over his failure to shave each morning. The masculine nature of facial hair is apparently a threat to productivity everywhere. I have known men who used their vacation time to grow in a beard, admiring their work over time with a wicked gleam in their eyes. It became their biggest accomplishment and the most common subject of conversation when they returned to work. The presence or absence of this fur is quite a big deal. Too bad they don't pay as much attention to their ear hair.
    
    This same guy with the distracting five o'clock shadow declined to try a tofu appetizer over lunch due to the fact he "heard that soy contains a lot of estrogens." Gads. Estrogen is even more threatening than testosterone I guess. My fianc

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=8 Mon, 10 Apr 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    From an article about the modern bride-turned-mutant-dinosaur phenomenon as described by Noe Spamme:
    
    [side note: I also wanted to name a pet "Spam" for a while. Spam and Spackle. Too much alliteration. Not a very good sandwich either.]
    
    Bridezilla.
    
    bridezilla (bryd.ZIL.uh) n. A bride-to-be who, while planning her wedding, becomes exceptionally selfish, greedy, and obnoxious. Also: bride-zilla.
    
    Bridezilla is a combination of bride and Godzilla, the mutant dinosaur created by U.S. hydrogen bomb testing in the Pacific that, in numerous films in the 50s and 60s, would wade onto land and destroy everything in its path. The bridal version of this monster is created by the maniacal need to have "the perfect day" and she'll walk over anyone and everything to get it.
    
    Author and etiquette expert Gail Dunson, who goes by pen name, Noe Spaemme, has written a book about this scary new breed of brides roaming the earth and she's got some advice for the newly engaged on how to avoid becoming a Bridezilla. The following are some of Dunson's tips on taming your inner Bridezilla:

    • Remember to say thank you and cultivate an attitude of gratefulness.
      
      
    • Avoid talking about nothing but the wedding from the time you are engaged. It will bore people and you'll lose friends. Leave a little suspense for the wedding! Don't tell everyone what your dress looks like. Keep a little mystery.
      
      
    • Plan appropriately for receptions, and do not make guest pay for drinks or dinner or anything else. If you can't afford a sit-down dinner, don't have an evening wedding. Don't plan over-the-top weddings and expect other people to pay for it. Cash registries are wrong, wrong, wrong. Any kind of gift registry information should never go in your invitations!
    We all love witnessing bad behavior and feeling the superior glow it gives us. None of us, of course, would behave that way.
    
    Have I become a bridezilla?
    • Remember to say thank you and cultivate an attitude of gratefulness.
    I try to end my 20 emails per day with thank you. I have to be in contact with the florist, the coordinator, the balloon lady, the online vendors, eBay, my guests, my fianc
    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=7 Fri, 31 Mar 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    Goby is a fun word.
    
    It's one of those words that sounds strange if you say it 10 times.
    
    The 5 gallon coral reef tank has a new goby in it.
    
    The new goby has no name. Bill says he doesn't name fish. I've always wanted to name a pet "Spackle."
    
    When my sister and I shared an apartment, two neighborhood cats would often invite themselves in, especially if we were carrying groceries. They never offered to help with the groceries. Mostly their visits consisted of prowling around under the beds then announcing that they wanted something at maximum volume. At that point we would show them the door. I wasn't sure where these cats lived or if they had names but they obviously had owned some humans somewhere. One was tremendously fat, the other was thinner but healthy. I named them Spackle and Grout. Grout was the fat one.
    
    Currently I only have one named fish: Homer. He's a male sunset fire platy with an exceptionally yellow hue. He used to have a mate named "Marge" and offspring named "Bart" and "Lisa" but I lost track of his progeny after 2 fish turned into 20. The wonders of fish reproduction!

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=3 Thu, 16 Mar 2006 00:00:00 PST Bill

    So I've become somewhat distressed and incredibly angry at the fear the conservative political and media elements seem to be expressing over "V for Vendetta," a movie that shows a modern-day revolution against an oppressive government in a parallel universe.
    
    In links on the Drudge Report today, I see blurbs saying that terrorists are sympathized with and called "revolutionaries", as if it is something that honors or celebrates terrorism. The links have been removed. Does anybody really know anything about this film? It's not a film about terrorism against any real-world government today; it reflects a British government in the future that has gone so extreme as to have become fascist. Even nazi-type symbols are shown in the film. What seems to infuriate conservatives is the use of current ideas, such as "freedom vs. security" (Patriot Act), and it seems that conservatives are so sensitive and emotional these days as to take such film fantasies as personal. Folks, guess what happens when people give up all freedoms for total security? You get the oppressiveness of the British government in "V"! Is anyone attacking the Patriot Act in this film? Of course not! As I will say about ten more times, this is a warning about finding the limits of the freedoms you will give up (limits of time and expansion), and keeping your government accountable to you!
    
    Does the British government in "V" echo some of the conservative sentiments in the United States today? Maybe, but only if taken to an extreme level. ANY political viewpoint, conservative or liberal, taken to an extreme, can be a danger to its people. "V" is a warning of extremism.
    
    Most importantly, I might note that in V, the "vendetta" carried out is against government officials and those considered the "guilty". There is a distinct effort to avoid the harming of innocents. It is this distinction which separates "V" from real terrorists. Terrorism is about body count. Revolution is about freedom. "V" is about freedom.
    
    Headlines on Drudge would probably call people "terrorists" who were indeed "revolutionaries" 200-plus years ago! Of course the British government in the 18th century called the American Revolutionaries "terrorists"! Any government that has become so oppressive as to squelch human rights begs for a revolution! Do I think the current U.S. government has become that? No! So why should I fear this movie?!?!?
    
    Have we as Americans allowed our government to become the very essence of the British crown we overthrew two hundred years ago? "V" suggests we must be vigilant. Yes, there's murder and assassination in the film. Yes, the House of Commons is blown up. Do you think any American Revolutionary wouldn't have attempted the same given the chance in 1776? It was guerilla tactics at the outset of the American Revolution. When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary...one acts. Why can't one act similarly against a Hitleresque government in a fantasy film without bringing down the fury of the people and being called "terrorist"? Perhaps it hits too close to home to conservatives who have lost their way and are flirting with extremism? Conservatism used to be about small government. "V" indicts the bloated juggernaut that fascism brings. Is the U.S. government flirting with extremism? A sensitivity to this film suggests something interesting, doesn't it?
    
    So why can't we watch a movie about a modern-day or futuristic revolution against an oppressive government without calling it an attack on Conservatism?
    
    Conservatives should celebrate this movie as educational; It is the oft-repeated warning that with power comes responsibility, and we should be thankful to the Wachowskis that they care enough to express those concerns. Especially when there seems to be quite a disparity now between what is "conservative" and what is "Republican". I'm not surprised that terms like "neocon" are coined by people who see the difference getting wider and wider.

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=2 Mon, 13 Mar 2006 00:00:00 PST Teri

    Welcome to our diary of random thoughts from the land of felines and tropical fish.
    
    No, really. There are more pets than people here.
    
    I rent a small room in a friend

    ]]> http://www.smithpad.com/blog.asp?ID=1 Fri, 3 Mar 2006 00:00:00 PST